ethicalweddings.com

Are you a photographer (amateur or professional) with an interest in ethical and green issues?

If so, we’d like to invite you to enter our Eco Chic Wedding & Home Show Photography Competition to see your photographs featured in our 2010 wedding shows.

We loved the look for 2009 (above) but we thought it was time to shake things up a bit for 2010 – which is where you come in!

How does it work?
We want to see your photos that you feel represent the spirit of a green, ethical and eco chic wedding.

It might be a bride on a bike, a reception in a working windmill, table decorations with plants in pots rather than cut flowers, or just a beautiful unspoilt British beach with the happy couple getting their feet wet… let your imagination run wild!

They could be photos you already have in your collection, ones you know you’ll have soon from an upcoming green wedding, or shots you set up just for this purpose.

What’s the prize?
The winning photographer(s) will…

• see their photos in the Show Guide, on the Show website and potentially in national newspapers (a number of which covered the show in 2009 - see our Press Section)
• be credited in our Show Guide that goes out to every couple who visits the Show
• be credited on the Show website (www.ecochicweddingandhomeshow.com) with your logo and a link back to your website
• get free copies of the Show Guide for their personal use

What do I need to do?

• Submit your photos (low resolution – no more than 500kb – high resolution images will be requested if successful) to katie at ethicalweddings.com
• Outline your commitment to green and ethical issues and how this affects your work as a photographer (up to 250 words)
• Confirm that you own the copyright to the photos and may use them as you see fit without restrictions
• Confirm that you are happy for the photos to be uploaded to Flickr, Facebook and/or other online photography display site for judging purposes

The deadline
All photos must be submitted by 31 July 2009

Who are the judges?
The winning photos will be selected by the Eco Chic Wedding & Home Show Team with assistance from ethical wedding couples who will vote on their favourites.

We can’t wait to see your ethical wedding photos!

Katie & Kate
Eco Chic Wedding & Home Show Team

The girls have been doing a sterling job blogging about the triumphs and tribulations of their ethical wedding planning but finally we have a green groom to join their ranks!

Jeff Kear is a green groom (otherwise known as Groomasaurus) getting ready to wed in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.  We’re thrilled that he has agreed to share his green groom moments with us on the Ethical Weddings blog - but before we get stuck in to his posts, here’s his blogger profile…

Your name: Jeff Kear
Wedding date: November 7, 2009
Venue and location: Puerto Vallarta, Mexico
Budget: $15K

What inspired you to have an ethical wedding?
We both are pretty environmentally minded in our everyday lives. We recycle. We compost. We drive eco friendly cars (Mini and Prius). We buy organically grown veggies and range-fed meats. We vote green. We have re-insulated our house to save energy. And we always turn out the lights when we leave the room. So having an ethical wedding just seemed to be the natural choice.

What has been the most difficult bit so far?
Staying away from using paper. Instead of sending out save-the-dates and invites, we are doing everything via email. I think people always expect paper invites, so we’ve surprised many by doing well designed e-invites.

What has been the most fun bit?
Investigating all the alternatives to a mass-produced wedding. There are lots of fantastic alternatives to an expensive and large-carbon footprint wedding, especially recycled handmade products.

What are your 5 top tips for brides and grooms planning an ethical wedding?
1. Use the Internet for your communications, even your invitations – it saves on paper.
2. Stay away from favors and decorations that will end up in a dumpster and use things that are either recyclable or re-useable.
3. Be mindful of the “consumption” mindset of weddings (i.e. lots of stuff) and make your day about the relationships and the people, not the stuff.
4. Use carbon credits to offset the carbon footprint of your wedding.
5. Think of cool ways you can get your guests to be green (e.g., carpool to the wedding, don’t wrap gifts or wrap them in newspaper that can easily be recycled, etc.).

We’ll be back with more green groom posts from Jeff soon.  In the meantime, why not try out his free online wedding planner, My Wedding Workbook?

Happy planning!

Katie

In our April Ethical Weddings newsletter we asked couples to give their artistic side an outing and come up with new designs for The heartfelt project’s range of wedding favours.

The heartfelt team was thrilled with the response and after much debate, got down to 2 designs to go into production.  The talented winners are:

2000 camera concord digital duo
• Deborah Miarkowska (of EcoChic) with a beautiful white and cream heart with ribbon
• Desiree Botterill with a cute Heartfelt name tag to double up as a place name and a gift for your guests to take home

Julie of The heartfelt project says they are going to start designing Deborah’s favour in a variety of colours (with matching ribbon and felt).

“It’s also a great idea for decorating the venue,” she adds, “a few hanging from the trees, on chairs, and so on. The prices will vary depending on the size of the heart but range from £2 - £5 each”.

Meanwhile, Desiree’s heartfelt name tag will be an innovative addition to the range and will retail at around £1.25.

And that’s not all… according to Julie there are more ideas in the pipeline so watch this space!

Enjoy these pics of Desiree and Deborah’s heartfelt designs…

About the heartfelt wedding favours

Hand-sewn by a group of women in Makapanstad, South Africa, the unique designs of The heartfelt project hold the stories of everyday life.

Each carries a message of hope and contributes a small donation to an HIV/AIDS & TB charity within the local community, as well as helping to feed and clothe the heartfelt ladies and their families.

By ordering your wedding favours through The heartfelt project, your support is another small way for them to fill many more hearts with hope.

I have an urgent mission for you if you will accept it: to find the greenest or most life-changing honeymoon you can.

If you’re anything like me, I bet the honeymoon brochures have been piling up around your sofa and downtime at work has drifted into honeymoon daydreaming with a little help from your friendly internet search engine.

So now is the time to put all that research into action and make your nomination in the 2009 Virgin Holidays Responsible Tourism Awards.

The Awards are organized by online travel agent, responsibletravel.com and they’d love your tip-offs of tour operators, hoteliers and destinations around the world that are doing their bit to help people and the planet.

Don’t worry, they don’t expect you to be responsible travel experts, just give them the name and a couple of lines to say why you think the hotel / lodge / tour operator / destination is eco-friendly and/or giving something back to the local community and the Responsible Tourism Awards judging panel will dig deeper (read more about the judging process).

Win a holiday of a lifetime

You can make as many nominations as you want and if it turns out you’ve nominated a winner (winners are announced in November), you could be in with a chance to win a holiday (or honeymoon?!) of a lifetime for you and your loved one.

2008 Award winners Gamewatchers Safaris & Porini Camps are offering a memorable prize safari holiday in Kenya.

The prize includes 7 nights accommodation (1 night Tribe Hotel, 2 nights Amboseli Porini Camp, 2 nights Ol Pejeta Rhino Camp, 2 Nights Mara Porini Camp) and return economy flights from Heathrow to Nairobi.

Read more about this amazing holiday.

Nominations needed

The Responsible Tourism Awards team is particularly keen to get nominations in these categories:

• Best in a Marine Environment - An organisation related to a beach or other marine environment, such as turtle conservation or a marine eco-tourism trip
• Best for Conservation of Cultural Heritage - A tourism organisation or initiative working to protect and promote cultural heritage
• Best Large Hotel - A hotel, lodge or other accommodation of more than 50 rooms that is run with the environment and needs of local people in mind.
• Best Personal Contribution - A person who has made an outstanding contribution to responsible tourism.

But hurry – the deadline for nominations is next Monday 15 June! Make your nomination.

Award-winning honeymoons

To give you an idea of the kind of holiday that wins an Award and why, let’s have a look at some of last year’s honeymoon-friendly winners…

Kingfisher Bay Resort, Fraser Island, Australia
This breathtaking resort won the Best Large Hotel Award in the 2008 Responsible Tourism Awards and was commended for its low environmental impact, educating its guests about conservation, and getting involved with the local, indigenous people helping them to share their culture and learn new skills for employment.

Nkwichi Lodge, Mozambique
A stunning lodge on the shores of Lake Niassa, it’s the perfect honeymoon spot: beauty, tranquility, crystal clear fresh water, white beaches and a welcome feeling of remoteness – there are no cars and the only access is by boat. The lodge is very private with only 7 chalets all uniquely designed to blend in with the local environment.

The lodge won the Best Small Hotel Award in the 2008 Responsible Tourism Awards. Not only is it environmentally-friendly in design but those behind it also played a key role in the creation of the Umoji Association which represents 20,000 local people through their chiefs and elected representatives. As one of the first large community associations in Mozambique, it has helped six communities to secure their land rights certificates from the Government.

Ecoventura, Ecuador
Winner of the Best in a Marine Environment Award in 2008, Ecoventura will take you around the awe-inspiring Galapagos Islands while taking every precaution to protect this delicate environment.

Ecoventura won its Award for creating scholarships for education, and developing micro-business for local women, converting a fishing boat into a restaurant and boutique to offer alternative livelihoods for the wives of fishermen. Ecoventura was also among the first cruise operators to be independently environmentally audited.

Shigar Fort - Palace Restoration Project, Pakistan
This beautiful fort won the Best for Conservation of Cultural Heritage Award in the 2008 Responsible Tourism Awards. It would make a unique and relaxing honeymoon haven for a couple who want to get off the beaten track.

The project was commended by the judges for the sensitive restoration of this historic building and its development as a hotel which has placed the property once again at the heart of the community.

It is now a cultural and economic asset which brings employment, microenterprise opportunities, and social and cultural empowerment to local men and women.

Inspired? Get nominating now – deadline Monday 15 June!

Want the latest on the Responsible Tourism Awards? Follow them on Twitter.

Katie
Talk ethical honeymoons in the Ethical Weddings Forum!

After an excellent review from our blogger bride, Henriette (who got married at the weekend - congratulations!), blogger bride Denise has stepped up to the mark with her own review of ‘Wedding planning on a budget‘ by Tim and Lisa Spooner.  So without further ado, I shall hand you over to Denise…

From the very first page, I was pretty sceptical that you could have a decent wedding for the tiny amounts that readers had testified to.  A wedding of your dreams for $1500!!!!

Before I read it, I could probably guess at some of the tips – do everything yourself - but I was hoping for some tips on how to reduce some of the little things that add up.

We are in the middle of planning our wedding (in four months time) and from the beginning I was shocked at the amounts that people spend on their wedding.

Since that day to now, my tune has definitely changed.  Firstly because everything costs WAAAY more than you expect.  And secondly because you start falling in love with things like venues, outfits, bands etc. I was determined to do everything myself, but as time went on, I decided to weigh money against sanity… and my sanity often won out.

So, to the book.

There are lots and lots of valuable (American) links to specific sites for planning tools, dresses, favours, honeymoon etc. I clicked on a few of them and they look good but I’m not sure how closely they’ve vetted the websites or if they are specifically low cost ones. They also include a handy global directory for other countries as a starting point if you are not based in America.

I think the ebook would look more professional with better pictures and more consistent branding throughout. The layout isn’t always helpful, with all the links up front, and then the story of Tim and Lisa’s own wedding in the middle.

Having said that, there is some great stuff in here for those who are pulling their hair out not knowing where to start.

Planning

The section about budgeting is handy if you have little experience of budgeting. It’s a nice and simple step by step explanation of what a wedding budget is and how to account for line items.  It also gives a list of what items go into wedding planning.

I skimmed this part because professionally I’ve done budgeting in my job, so I actually had a budget in place before we even got engaged (which I then “shared” with my new fiancé!).  I realise this won’t be the case for everyone though so if the thought of setting a budget scares you - read this section!

Why get married?

The next part asks you to write down why you are getting married. This is definitely a good reminder, as it can easily get out of proportion.

They even ask the hard question, do you really want to get married? Ouch – imagine breaking that to your fiancé after reading this book!

There’s also some good advice here on your wedding “must haves” early in the planning.

The good stuff

About 70 pages in we find the really good stuff.  A fantastic chapter about “Elegance and Effectiveness”. This is great advice because when planning a wedding it’s easy to think that everything needs extra flourish, every piece of furniture at the wedding needs a flower, and everything has to match.

This reminded me that everything we spend money on has to contribute to the elegance of the occasion, not just because that’s what “weddings should have”.

Money

Who should pay for the wedding? There’s a handy list of who pays for what “traditionally” and some tips for different approaches. This is personally a bit of a minefield in weddings, so any advice for couples is much appreciated.

They even introduce the concept of having a sponsored wedding, which intrigued me. They have detailed advice on how to approach this if it’s for you (not for me, but FABULOUS idea!).

More palatable to most people is the idea of identifying people in your network who can help you with their talents or services for little or no fee.  Once again, they offer practical step by step advice.

Lastly, they offer some ideas of which parts you could do yourself, from taking courses in flower arranging, to doing your own invitations and other crafty bits and pieces.

Throughout this money section, the authors give concrete examples of how they funded different parts of their own wedding as well as bargain tips, such as getting a dress from ebay, going to garage sales and checking classified ads for second hand wedding stuff.

Most of this will be common sense but it was a good reminder - especially as common sense can go out of the window when it comes to weddings! What was particularly useful were the tips to think outside the box – not everything has to be specifically for a wedding because that usually carries a big price tag – just search a little more. These tips include looking at cheaper times or dates for the day. This is probably not something that you would immediately think about.

A good ‘how to’ guide

Overall, I would invest in this book if you feel you just don’t know where to start - particularly around planning and budgeting.

If you are seriously on a budget but don’t have time to start scouring the net for money-saving ideas, then it would also really help you. I did get some good tips from this book and I think others would too.

Thanks Denise! As well as being an Ethical Weddings blogger bride, Denise runs Raw Brides - intrigued? Find out more at www.rawbrides.com

Katie

Chat with other green grooms and ethical brides in the Ethical Weddings Forum

Today, we are delighted to welcome Tim Maguire, Authorised Celebrant with the Humanist Society of Scotland, to tell us a bit about Humanist Weddings - why you might choose one and how to go about organising one.

We’ll leave you in Tim’s capable hands…

Since Humanist Weddings became legal in Scotland in June 2005, hundreds of couples have been travelling here from all over the world to get married by Authorised Celebrants of the Humanist Society of Scotland.

Why Humanist Weddings?

The reason they all give is that they want to have a truly personal ceremony that reflects who they are and allows them to say in their own words why they love one another, what their hopes are for the future and what they promise to one another.

The rise in the popularity of Humanist Weddings has been astonishing and by 2008, they had already become the 4th most popular form of marriage in the country, overtaking the Episcopal Church of Scotland in the process.

One big difference is that they are secular, or non-religious, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t have a spiritual element: we always make a point of welcoming people whatever their beliefs and often have a period for quiet contemplation during which everyone can think about the couple in their own way and people of faith may use this time to say their own private prayer.

Our own Humanist Wedding

I got married in a Humanist ceremony in May 2005, just before they became legal, so my wife Juliet (see Juliet’s Humanist Wedding Blog) and I had to have a civil ceremony as well as a humanist blessing.

Our friends and family all said it was the most moving and inspiring wedding they’d ever been to, and that inspired us both to train to become celebrants. Now, four years later, we’ve both separately conducted hundreds of funerals, baby naming and welcoming ceremonies, and of course marriages. It’s a huge privilege to become part of people’s lives in this way and it’s a responsibility we take very seriously, but it’s also a great and lasting pleasure.

Where do we begin?

The first thing to do is visit the Humanist Society of Scotland’s website. There are now over fifty celebrants authorised by the Registrar General of Scotland to conduct legal weddings, and our contact details can be found here.

Many, but not all of us, have detailed profiles that tell you how and why we do what we do, and some of us have blogs where we share our ideas and talk about the weddings we’ve celebrated. Choose several, call them up or drop them an email and arrange to speak over the phone or if you can, go and meet them in person.

We’re all different, but we’re all the same, in that we treat people the way we would like them to treat us, regardless of their age, race, gender and beliefs. As we say here in Scotland: “We’re a’ Jock Tamson’s bairns“, or in other words, we’re all the same under the skin.

What’s next?

The whole point of the marriage ceremony is to tell your friends and family:
a) why you’re here
b) where you’re going
c) what you’re promising

Working with your celebrant, you’ll find the right way to do that. When I meet a couple, as well as telling them how a typical ceremony might go (and pointing out the many ways in which all the parts of it can differ and be personalised), I ask them to go away and do a little homework, which sounds boring but is actually really great fun, and every couple I’ve ever married has thanked me for suggesting it. This is how it works.

When we decide to ask someone to marry us, or to accept someone’s proposal, we just intuitively know that it’s the right thing to do: we don’t sit down with a tick list and go through all the things that have happened since we met that led to the decision. Or so you might think.

But actually, our subconscious minds have been keeping that list ever since we first saw one another, first spoke and went on our first date. Human beings can’t help judging – like, don’t like, like, like, don’t like – and when we finally decide that this is the only person we can’t live without, or that this person is the one that we want to spend the rest of our lives with, it’s the culmination of a long process where the likes outweigh the don’t likes by a long, long, long way!

So the homework is designed to encourage you – separately – to go back into your memories and remember not just what happened and the story of your courtship, which is fun, but even more importantly, what it was about your partner that made you think, “I love the way he or she is X“.

What’s your story?

During a typical courtship, a lot of stuff happens: good stuff, bad stuff, difficult stuff. And it’s the way that we deal with it that reveals who we are to our partners. I did a ceremony some years ago for a couple who came to me wanting “a plain simple ceremony with no romantic guff“. They did the homework and sent it to me and I read something incredible.

Colin, the husband-to-be struck me as a very normal guy. He was a man of his hands, a football fan, and he’d been a season-ticket holding supporter of his club for twenty years: he wasn’t the flower-arranging type. But when his mum became ill, with Alzheimer’s, he did something remarkable: he gave up his season ticket so he could look after her.

And in her homework, Barbara, the bride-to-be, wrote that she suddenly remembered something that her mother had told her years ago (and that she had dismissed because her mother had told her and let’s face it, what do mothers know?). Her mother had told her, “If you want to see how a man will behave towards you, look at how he behaves towards his mother.”

Now that was Colin and Barbara’s story, and it’s not yours. But you can probably understand from reading it why Barbara chose Colin; and I know that on the day, at least half of the guests, who knew her better than they knew him, really understood why she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

Not everyone’s got that kind of story; and not every one wants to talk about things like that. And that’s the real beauty of the Humanist ceremony. You don’t have to. There’s no right way or wrong way: only your way. If you’re a bit shy and want to be discreet, fine. It will be discreet. If you’re natural comedians, it will be funny.

But the most important thing to remember is that it will reflect who YOU are. And no other form of marriage ceremony allows you to do that, in Scotland or anywhere else in the world!

Tim Maguire
Authorised Celebrant
Humanist Society of Scotland

Thanks Tim! What a great introduction to Humanist Weddings. If you want to find out more about Humanist Weddings you can visit Tim’s blog.

And if you’ve had a Humanist Wedding and would like to share your story with us on the Ethical Weddings website, just drop us an email - we’d love to hear from you.

Katie
Chat about Humanist Weddings in the Ethical Weddings Forum

Yes, suddenly there are less than 7 days before our wedding.  I have been meaning to write here for weeks, but all of a sudden life took over!  I have been ill and had to resort to antibiotics, and that was definitely NOT in my plan.

So, now feeling better and the sun is shining.  Dare I say it, the weather forecast is good (I have been checking about twice a day for the last fortnight, in which time it has been up and down quite a lot).

Lots of last minute things to do.  One of those things is write my speech!  I’m going to give it a go tonight after the kids are in bed and the wine has been opened.

Home-grown flowers

The flowers are the other main thing; you may remember I wrote many months ago that we were trying to grow our own.  Well, a lot of the things I planted have been and gone e.g. the tulips (always a long shot) and camassias.  The alliums are trying to hold on; will the roses and irises be out in time?

But, things have sprung up in my garden that I had forgotten about, such as forget-me-nots and centaurea montana and so I am still hopeful of having a bouquet that I have grown myself.  My friend, who is doing the flowers, has also found Flowers By Clowance - Cornish grown flowers, who do next day delivery, so we are supplementing what we have with some stocks and sweet williams from them.

Veggie BBQ

Our veggie barbecue the night before the wedding has been causing some consternation amongst some of the guests, who can’t quite contemplate no meat, but hey, I’m sure they’ll live.  We have ended up taking inspiration from our daughter’s school, and allocated various things to people to bring, to feed 6-8 people.  We were worried we might otherwise be inundated with Linda McCartney’s sausages!!

The rings

The rings have arrived and we are totally in love with them.  I have also ordered a present for our flower-arranger from Les at Hairy Growler too - he is making a flower brooch out of a spoon bowl.

Final touches

I spent about 3 weeks trying to track down some non-brown, slightly prettier recycled serviettes.  I did find some, but you had to order about 3000.  So, we are going for brown.  In they end I thought “Hey, they are just serviettes after all”.

My other recent ethical dilemma has been brown - this time about fake tan!  I don’t wear make-up, but  I was a bit concerned my strapless dress wouldn’t go with the rather nice t-shirt mark I have acquired.  Various friends have been extolling the benefits of fake tans, spray on tans etc, but as much as I researched I couldn’t find anything that wasn’t packed full of chemicals.

Luckily, the weather has changed and I am spending as much time as possible in a strapless sundress.  I have also bought some “body lustre” from B Never Too Busy To Be Beautiful (a sister company of Lush), which has a nice gold sparkle.

Food glorious food

We have found some lovely non-alcoholic bubbly for our pregnant friends - it is sparkling blueberry or raspberry.  (From our local health food shop - the owner told us it is also delicious with vodka…). Our friend who is making the cake is now concerned that cheesecake may not be the best thing in hot weather, so who knows what we might have.  We trust her to make something delicious that we can share with our family and friends.

A nice day for white wellies

Right,  now off to paint my wellies, although, fingers-crossed we won’t need them.  I’m so excited and am now trying to get it into my head that it will all fall into place.

My mantra for the last few days has been “I am a professional co-ordinator” - in my working life and life with 2 small children - and have been whispering this into Graham’s ear in the hope he won’t wake in the night panicking!  So far it’s not been 100% successful…

Will try and write again soon wih some pics!

Sam

We have just had word from ethical jeweller extraordinaire, Fifi Bijoux 1996 the power of sex.mp3 that they are offering a new and - even more excitingly - FREE guide to choosing the perfect engagement ring.

Aptly titled ‘A Flawless Proposal‘ they’ll take you through the diamond selection, sizing and styles (and even some ideas for the proposal!) in this step-by-step guide which you’ll receive in 5 bite-size emails, one sent to you every few days.

You can even order a free ring sizer from them (they just love giving stuff away - can’t stop them!).

Fifi Bijoux has extensive experience in the jewellery industry (she’s one of our Ethical Weddings Experts) and they’ve introduced this service to make your experience as enjoyable and transparent as possible.

An Invitation

The service comes FREE and without obligation.  However, if you feel the guide has been useful to you at the end they’ll invite you to support their project ‘From Little Acorns‘ Child Sponsorship, in partnership with the Entebbe Women’s Association.

A link will be sent with more information in the final email and it’s entirely up to you to choose if you wish to contribute and if so how much.

Email fifibijoux@gmail.com with subject line ‘A Flawless Proposal’ to start receiving your guide.

(They won’t share your information with anyone else!).

Other progress, people.

Makeup

At first, I wanted my own friend to do the make up, but of course my parents did not let me. Okay, then I surveyed four makeup artists in town with the help of two of my good friends (I don’t have precise addresses of other makeup artists near the regency I live in).

I had anticipated that all makeup artists would be just the exact same—they would make your face really white (no idea how much face powder they need) and very red lipstick for your lips and very bright color for your eye lids. Really, I’ve been to many weddings and involved in a few weddings, so I know.

Apparently I found one that isn’t the exact same. This makeup artist is—I found out later—quite famous in town and other areas. From a wedding of a friend (in which she was the makeup artist) and from her photos, I suppose she’s quite nice and light in doing makeup for weddings. I told my parents that I chose this person, but my parents thought that she wasn’t in their price range.

So my step mom picked her own friend who is also a makeup artist. From several sample photos I was shown to (I haven’t met her in person), my mind was back to the original thought: almost all makeup artists here are just the same (and I don’t need to explain again why).

Although I know I my words might not be taken too seriously, I still gave my step mom ‘instructions’ to remind her makeup artist friend to do the makeup lightly, to not ‘harm’ my eye brows by shaping them excessively, bla, bla, bla.

Since makeup is in one package with outfits and décor, maybe it isn’t too pricey (not to mention that it is my step mom’s friend that we hire). I cannot say it’s green, since makeup artists usually use varied kinds of makeup brands and until now, I never hear anything about makeup artists that are specializing in green makeup products.

Outfits

I’ve told you that my parents were against my plan to use my own kebayas (kebaya is one of Indonesian traditional dresses for women and most women, especially the Javanese and Sundanese, wear this kind of outfit for their weddings and other formal occasions).

So Mr. H and I will wear two outfits (for the ceremony and the reception—Indonesian weddings ‘dictate’ you to wear different outfits for each parts of the day) that are rented from the makeup artist’s service company.

Most brides here think that, as wedding ceremony is such a sacred occasion in life, they’re not supposed to wear rented outfit. I don’t know, maybe they’re afraid that they would have the same kind of married life as the bride that used the outfit before them.

But I don’t care. That one who used the rented outfit prior to me has nothing to do with what kind of marriage I’m going to have.

I decided to use Sundanese outfits for both occasions (I wanted to have a few of the traditions integrated as well in the ceremony, but it would be expensive and would consume pretty much time); white for the ceremony and brown for the reception. Well, my step mom insistently chose gold rather than brown and she decided that Mr. H and I should wear the Sundanese outfits only for the ceremony, not for the reception.

I haven’t been contacted again to see the real outfits to choose from, so nothing much to talk about.

Here’s the progress so far after my giving up.

Ceremony site

• cerrone s paradise download

After changing the site without my knowledge, my father decided to change his mind, to my very surprise. I didn’t ask why, I just felt winning

So the mosque next to my parents’ house will be. We never mention anything about decorating it, so maybe it won’t be decorated. The lime green and light gray colors of the inside walls are already beautiful, I love them. Those colors are adequate to me.

My family live in a complex with about 200 households, so the mosque is for public, particularly for us who live in the complex. I suppose we could use it for free. But I don’t really know about the regulation. My father is the one who takes care of the permission.

Still, I’m very certain it doesn’t cost significantly.

Reception venue

No change. Still my parents’ house. The living room will be transformed into my and my husband-to-be’s ‘throne’. It is a common thing for Indonesian weddings to have couples sit still for hours in a kind of dais with parents next to them. What do we do? Sit and watch guests eat, then stand up to shake people’s hands and get our picture captured together.

I know. That kind of wedding doesn’t really have character (even boring). But there’s nothing I can do anymore to have another way round.

No expense in using the house as the reception venue, except maybe additional expenditure for extra power/electricity.

Tents

Rented tents will be set right in front of the house (it is normal for weddings in my country to transform the road before their houses into a guests area). I don’t know what kind of tents my parents rented. I’ve told them that I wanted brown hues with a touch of green, but they never said anything to me about their choice on tents. Oh, let it be.

There’s one tent rental service near the complex where we live, but my parents didn’t like the tents offered there. They then opted to choose the most famous tent rental service downtown (we live in a regency area, the vicinity of the capital city of the West Borneo province), but apparently too expensive. I don’t really know about their last choice.

Chairs

I assume my parents will rent chairs from a police department near our place (they’ve got a connection there, so it won’t be too pricey). I have no idea whether or not they will have upholsteries for the chairs (they like the idea of glamorous wedding). It’s up to my parents now.

Decor

All wedding makeup artists here offer the very similar packages (basically comprise makeup + rented outfits for the couple and their parents + rented décor). Even though you opt to choose only one of their offers, for instance, you still have to pay in full.

So my makeup artist will take care of the décor (when I say décor, it includes only décor for the dais and for the food tables—that’s the common offer).

To my surprise, my parents let me and Mr. H chose the dais by ourselves. But we got to choose only from a small number of options (and only from photos). I actually don’t want any of the options, as I think the décor is just too much, but I can’t choose to do that.

Mr. H preferred a dais with dark-colored bamboo background and I followed his choice to make things simpler.

I can’t get the very simple whole décor I always dreamed of, but at least the tents, chairs, and dais are rented. Using rented things is green, isn’t it?