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Apr 23rd, 2012 by Katie
So it’s 7 years today since we walked down the aisle. Where did that time go?
I don’t think the celebrations will be going on till the wee hours tonight. With a ‘terrific’ twos toddler and a 10 week newborn we’re probably looking at a warm milk and early to bed.
Utterly exhausted… But happy!
Katie and Jamie x
Apr 12th, 2012 by Katie
No speeches, no sit-down meal, no wedding favours.
Emily and Paul’s alternative wedding plans may have upset the traditionalists but doing things their own way made for a personal and meaningful celebration that sizzled with style while still taking care of the planet and the pennies.
Find out how ebay came up with the vintage goods, wellies weren’t needed but were worn, and flowers came fresh from the farm.
Read Emily & Paul’s eco centred wedding
If you like their style, why not head along to the Gorgeous Green Wedding Fair this Saturday 14 April at the Clow Beck Eco Centre where Emily & Paul tied the knot?
Find out more about the Gorgeous Green Wedding Fair
Happy planning!
Katie
Mar 20th, 2012 by Katie
We have had what we believe are termed ‘catastrophic’ IT problems.
The upshot of this is that if you emailed us between September 2011 and the end of February this year we sadly no longer have your email and – if you hadn’t been in touch with us at all before September – we no longer have your contact details.
If this is you, please email us again, tell us what you want and who you are – we don’t want to lose our lovely ethical wedding friends!
Thank you for understanding – we’re trying really hard to sort things out.
Katie & Jamie x
Feb 17th, 2012 by Katie
We’re delighted to welcome the newest member of our team, Orin Paul Fewings who turned up for work on 10 February – 11 days early, so keen was he to get started!
So far he has slept most of the day but then been quite lively at night so maybe he’ll be a shift worker (though that wasn’t in the original job description).
In any case, we’re sure he’ll be a tremendous asset to the team and hope you’ll bear with us while we’re getting him up to speed.
Katie, Jamie & Polly x
Feb 1st, 2012 by Katie
Shortly after saying ‘yes, yes, yes’ (to the question ‘Will you marry me?’ you understand) you will stumble across a whole new vocabulary (let’s call it wedcabulary – or wedcab for short) of whose existence you were previously blissfully unaware.
This wedcab includes such mysteries as chic chair covers (you can’t sit on a naked chair at a wedding – what would the reverend say?), sophisticated table runners and lovely wedding favours (or ‘awesome wedding favors‘ in our North American sisters’ wedcab).
Now I thought a favour was something someone did for you slightly reluctantly and for which you were then eternally in debt – or at least until you could perform a similar task that called for an equal measure of reluctance.
At least I did until I started to plan my wedding. I then found out (thanks Wikipedia) that:
Wedding favors are small gifts given as a gesture of appreciation or gratitude to guests from the bride and groom during a wedding ceremony or a wedding reception.
The tradition of distributing wedding favors is a very old one. It is believed that the first wedding favor, common amongst European aristocrats, was known as a bonbonniere. A bonbonniere is a small trinket box made of crystal, porcelain, and/or precious stones. The contents of these precious boxes were generally sugar cubes or delicate confections, which symbolize wealth and royalty. [...]
As the price of sugar decreased throughout centuries, the tradition of providing gifts to guests reached the general populace and was embraced by couples of modest means.
As you’ll know if you read our blog regularly, we have little truck with tradition and if favours don’t form part of your green wedding masterplan, that’s fine by us.
But a little pondering led us to the conclusion that they could play a useful role in your celebrations – especially now that a wedding favour isn’t limited to the 5 sugar almonds representing fertility, longevity, wealth, health and happiness.
1. Stave off hunger – a wedding day is often a long one and guests can lose their good humour waiting to get served. An edible favour can be just what they need to keep them going till the starter!
2. A memento - make it something personal to you as a couple: a poem from your wedding ceremony, a candle with the date of the wedding, pot pourri from the flowers that make up your bouquet
3. A place marker - don’t forget the favour can double up as a place name – the chocolate with the guest’s name iced on it, the paperweight with the guest’s name engraved
4. A crafty treat - if you’ve got nimble fingers this could be your chance to put them to good use! A handmade bag to hold choccies, a crocheted heart, a dried flower bookmark?
5. An ethical wedding opportunity – make the chocolates Fairtrade (we had Divine chocolate hearts), give a wedding favour that represents a donation to your chosen charity, or what about wild flower seed wedding favours that your guests can plant when they get home?
These days pretty much anything goes. Here are a few of our favourites.
American Bridal has a great range of eco, earth-friendly wedding favours:
Your guests will get 300 mg of wildflower seeds, which should cover around 20 square feet. You can customise the packets with the colour and design you want, and then add 3 lines of text which could include a thank you or suitably sweet sentiment, your names and the date of your wedding.
I also love these:
Made from recycled paper with a natural-twine loop to fasten, your guests will enjoy picking their favourite photos from your day to remember in this bijou album.
If you’ve got time, you could even get them started with a photo of you and your other half or (if you’ve got even more time and sufficient photos!) both of you with the relevant guest.
Many charities now give you the option to make a donation on your guests’ behalf in lieu of a favour. The NSPCC offer personalised wedding favour cards and pin badges as a keepsake and to let your guests know where the donation has gone.
Getting green-fingered again, Beau-coup has found these gorgeous mini bamboo plants to delight your guests.
Or if you really want to ram the green message home, you could present your guests with these “Reuse, conserve, recycle, sustain” eco-friendly tote bags.
From another of our lovely Ethical Weddings suppliers, The heartfelt project, come these handcrafted, feast-for-the-eyes wedding favours which are sewn by a group of women in Makapanstad, South Africa.
Whether you go for a key ring, bookmark or fridge magnet, each favour gives a small donation to a local HIV/AIDS and TB charity, and helps to support the heartfelt ladies and their families.
And I couldn’t leave you without a word on the chocolate wedding favour. It’s the perfect chance to say ‘yay’ to Fairtrade while filling your guests’ tummies with something yummy.
On our wedding day in 2005, we popped Divine chocolate mini eggs into our handmade favour bags and they went down extremely well.
Or how about these tasty-looking hearts (I’ve already heavily hinted to my other half that these should feature in his Valentine’s Day plans for me!)?
So if you decide to go with tradition and give your guests a wedding favour, we hope we’ve given you a few ideas beyond sugared almonds. We’d love to hear which you choose – and some pics would be wonderful too.
Happy planning!
Katie
Jan 25th, 2012 by Katie
At this time of year I get swamped with emails telling me what’s hot and what’s not in the world of weddings.
Pity the poor bride who relies on such lists to create the perfect big day – especially if she starts planning a year in advance as most do.
Picture it: you’ve just had your dressmaker remove the sleeves from your bespoke wedding gown and make a few strategic cuts to showcase that cleavage when the next wedding mag you pick up tells you that ‘coy is in’ for 2012 and lace sleeves (a la Kate Middleton) a must.
So for those of you who are fed up of fickle fashions and just want this special day to be your day not a vision from Vogue, here is Ethical Weddings’ (completely subjective) list of what’s always hot in weddings:
Warning: This is written in the style of a ‘what’s in, what’s out’ list – normal service will be resumed for the next post!
We’re in raptures over the tailored, cream suit for today’s bride, but also loving the dramatic, red flamencoesque swishing skirts, and the traditional A-line shape that flatters the hips, and the mountainous meringue that shouts “Hey hubby, I’m here!”.
Essentially, we’re swooning over any shape, size or style that makes us feel gorgeous, happy and best of all, comfortable – ourselves but on a good day (as somebody said).
We’ve heard that vintage is old hat (well, it would be, wouldn’t it?) but we’re not ready to give it up that easily.
We don’t have to ram it down our guests’ throats (those 1920s feathers can tickle) but we adore the idea that our wedding has a history – that our rings celebrated love in centuries past, our stylish fascinator fascinated another blushing bride, our charity shop china has adorned countless wedding tables and will adorn countless more.
And of course we’re completely ravished by the ‘reuse, recycle’ philosophy that comes with the whole vintage shebang.
If you think vintage is still in, get your fix at one of the many vintage wedding fairs this year.
We’re obviously head over heels about weddings but we’re also holding on tight to a tiny seed of common sense that says “It’s just one day”.
We’re poring over our sexy spreadsheets, borrowing as much wedding paraphernalia as we can, dabbling in a bit of crafty DIY for our table decorations and just doing our bestest to keep our white wedding in the black.
Our hard work will pay off when we’re cosied up on the sofa with our other half watching telly – rather than watching the bailiffs cart it off.
We’re sharing this one with The Wedding Channel who flagged it up on their 2012 hot list: charity gift registries are in, reckless registries are out.
And we’re keeping it! We say charity gift lists are here to stay – if our houses are cluttered to bursting, why not make the most of our guests’ giving instincts to benefit a good cause?
We’re suppressing the desire to shout “It’s all about me, me, me” and instead being grateful to our nearest and dearest for their support and friendship not just on this day but over the years.
If they offer their talents, their cast-offs or their hard-earned cash to help us make our celebration that bit more special we’re accepting graciously or – if absolutely impossible to do so – declining with the utmost delicacy that leaves relationships intact and hearts warmed.
We’re reading the wedding rule book then hurling it out of the nearest window.
We’re looking to our own lives as we choose poems and vows that mean something to us, not the masses. We invite the friends and family we want (not the ones we’re supposed to) and in the way we want – by phone, by email, by smoke signal.
We’re having a go at making our own cake, dress or bouquet and cherishing the personal imperfect over the professional and immaculate.
Or maybe we’re turning up in our jeans and t-shirt with just our loyal dog as a witness – it’s our wedding and we’ll do it our way.
We’re absolutely in love and we want to get married to celebrate that, tell the world and make that commitment to each other.
The rest doesn’t really matter.
Katie
Dec 25th, 2011 by Katie
Just a little post from us today to wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy New Year.
Here’s our daughter Polly helping Santa out with his deliveries last night.
See you in 2012 for lots more ethical and green wedding fun!
Katie & Jamie x
Dec 14th, 2011 by Katie
We finally got around to updating our Events page and scoured the internet for all manner of wedding fairs that fall outside the mainstream.
Ethical, eco or green wedding fairs are still sprouting up here and there around the country and we really hope you’ll go along and support them so that we have more in years to come.
The real success story for 2012 though has to be the vintage wedding fair – whether you’re based north, south, east or west there should be a vintage wedding show near you. And at Ethical Weddings we love vintage (when it’s properly done) – giving old stuff (‘Something old…’) a new life helps to keep your carbon footprint up the aisle nice and low. If you’re planning to go vintage for your wedding, do tell as we’re planning some more articles on this topic soon.
Take a look at the vintage, eco and alternative wedding fairs in 2012 here
If you know of one that we’ve missed, let us know and we’ll add it to the list.
Have fun at the (wedding) fair!
Katie
As we approach the end of the year, we thought it would be a good time to flick back through the books we’ve had by our bedside for the last 12 months and pick out a few gems for those of you planning an ethical and green wedding in 2012.
Here goes…
…says Ariel Meadow Stallings, the Offbeat Bride who had a ‘bridentity crisis’ on getting engaged:
“Suddenly I was supposed to care about floral arrangements and classical quartets. Suddenly I was supposed to like poufy white dresses and showing off jewelry. Suddenly I was supposed to buy five-hundred-page glossy magazines and take a strong interest in decorative bows for the backs of rented chairs.”
Happily it didn’t take Ariel too long to realise that she didn’t have to be someone else on her wedding day.
“Once I realized that we could craft the wedding that we wanted (and not what others expected), the whole process got a lot easier. There was no need to read the glossy magazines for ideas – I already knew what I cared about. The issue was just figuring out how to share that with my friends and family in a way that everyone could enjoy.”
A bonus of this approach in our book (which we haven’t written yet – watch this space!) is that it tends to make your special day a whole lot cheaper and greener.
Jen Marsden of Green Guide for Weddings reckons that our current retromania could be a blessing for the planet. Jen says:
“When 900,000 million items of perfectly good clothing, shoes and accessories are thrown away these days it makes sense keeping stuff that will become popular again […].
“Whilst not suggesting that the bridegroom wears his 1980s hideously patterned shell suit to the altar there are some class pieces from the 1950s […] Think Sinatra, Martin and the crooners – if their style still looks good then so can yours.
“Vintage doesn’t have to be expensive. Beyond Retro opened in 2000 in a warehouse in East London where they sell a wide range of vintage clothing and accessories for men and women. Their vintage wedding items are available from £18 to £120 and they sell vintage veils, silk flowers, headpieces and shoes [too].”
If you’re going to buy vintage online, heed these words of wisdom from Wenona Napolitano of The Everything Green Wedding Book:
“Ask what condition the gown is in, how fragile the material is, and whether the dress is wearable (some people just collect vintage gowns they don’t plan to wear). Above all, do not rely on sizes. Get measurements. Sizes mean nothing in vintage gowns because they don’t even come close to modern size charts. […] Over time, people have gotten taller and thicker […]. Vintage styles are often very small and are made for shorter women. Make sure you have accurate measurements of yourself.”
Wenona shares more tips on choosing a vintage gown in her article for Ethical Weddings: “Totally vintageous – search for an eco chic wedding gown”
We say, for more vintage inspiration and bargains, head to one of the many vintage fairs going on in 2012 – we’ve a growing list here (among other ethical, green and alternative wedding events).
If you’re going for a traditional church wedding, that’s no reason to stop asking your green questions. Jen says:
“Now that churches have gained their fair trade status, they are looking at the whole green cycle – from procurement to combating climate change.
“There are now over 100 churches in the UK that promise to include environmental considerations daily into their prayers, as set out by the organisation, Eco Congregation. With activists amongst its clergy, The Green Church of the Year (awarded by Church Times in 2007) went to the Holy Trinity in Cleeve, Somerset.”
When it comes to weddings, flowers can be a pesticide-ridden, carbon-hungry minefield. So it’s useful to try a little lateral thinking. One bride, Danielle, shares her floral story in Organic Weddings: Balancing Ecology, Style and Tradition by Michelle Kozin:
“I wanted organic, locally grown flowers for my late-fall wedding but none of the florists in the area were interested in helping me because it would be just past the local growing season.
“I approached a woman selling flowers at a local farmer’s market about doing dried bouquets and arrangements from her summer flowers that dried well. She had never done a wedding before but was really excited to have the opportunity.
“Everything looked beautiful and very unique!”
Michelle also gives tips on growing your own flowers, and suggests reusing your arrangements by moving them from the ceremony to the reception and then to your local hospital or nursing home, choosing potted plants for centrepieces that can be given as gifts and replanted, and using fabric flowers or vintage pins instead of boutonnieres and corsages.
If you’re making your own cake, Michelle suggests simply taking a traditional recipe and substituting organic ingredients. If you’re not feeling up to the role of master baker for your wedding day, she says:
“If you are searching for an organic baker, but can’t locate one, ask a conventional baker if they are willing to purchase organic and natural ingredients for your cake. Even if only half of the ingredients can be organic, go for it. Half is better than none.
“You may find a baker who is interested in helping you and in learning to source ingredients for an organic cake. Local health and natural food stores in your area should carry necessary baking products.”
The Everything Green Wedding Book’s Wenona is a big fan of handmade nuptials and she believes wedding DIY is one way for a couple to get even closer in the run-up to their marriage.
“Green couples really seem to be in touch with the DIY wedding by planting flowers or growing fresh herbs in pots to give away as favors, or by making handmade paper for their invitations.
“Making beautiful handcrafted elements for your wedding as a couple is a wonderful way to bond and spend quality time together while planning your big day.
“It is also a great way to relax and de-stress in the midst of planning a large event. Chances are you are extremely busy , hustling around between appointments, fittings, and normal day-to-day living. Crafting is a way to slow down and concentrate on absolutely nothing but the task at hand.”
Mireya Navarro, New York Times Style correspondent and author of Green Wedding – Planning your eco-friendly celebration has a solution for couples who are hankering after a big wedding with all their friends and family but don’t want the carbon (or financial) cost: live streaming.
Mireya says:
“A wedding webcast may sound kind of fringe, but it allows you to cut down your guest list and still have all of your loved ones be part of the event (kind of). […]
“One company, www.WebcastMyWedding.net, has technicians who can travel to your wedding to take care of the webcast […] The company also allows you to handle the webcast yourself for a fraction of the price […]. The owner, Ariel J. Andres […] says that all couples need for the live streaming is a video camera, a laptop, and a high-speed Internet connection. After reserving a webcast channel, a couple can create their webpage and e-mail invitations with the time and date of the event so that guests know when to log on.”
For obvious reasons this approach is particularly popular for destination weddings but Mireya also gives the example of a couple who, “wanted to save money, so they had only eight relatives and close friends at their wedding in Santa Monica, California, but broadcast the beach ceremony to more than one hundred online guests.”
So you’re having a green wedding but should you tell your guests or wait to dazzle them with your eco chic style when they ask you where you got your fabulous (charity shop actually) wedding dress or your (made them ourselves from organic cotton and home-grown lavender) favours?
New York Times Style guru, Mireya says:
“The wedding offers a chance to educate friends and relatives not yet clued in to terms like ‘post-consumer recycled paper,’ but how can you do this without a Power Point presentation between courses?
“Kelly Nichols and Alan Puccinelli of California used their wedding website to show ‘How we’re being eco-friendly’. It explained that the venue composted on-site. It mentioned the organic menu and the bio-degradable wood stir-sticks for drinks. And under ‘What can you do?’ it included tips such as ‘ride our chartered bus’ and ‘wear a dress you already own’.”
Kate L. Harrison, author of The Green Bride Guide has these tips for a sustainable tipple to celebrate your newly-wed status:
“If you live in an area that grows wine, it is nice to support a local vineyard. If you are having a vineyard wedding, the wine will probably be part of the package, but even if you are having your wedding somewhere else, you can ask for or provide locally grown wine.”
And do opt for organic if you can…
“Grapes are one of the most pesticide-heavy crops in the world. […] Organic wine is made from grapes that have been grown without the use of chemical pesticides, fertilizer, and herbicides.
“Most organic wines also have fewer suliftes, because they cannot add additional preservatives, which is good for people who are prone to wine headaches.”
(We say: so your guests will thank you for it the next day too!)
We like Kate’s easy-to-action tip on the photography front. Go digital. She says:
“Although some photographers are still wed to film-based photography (and may try to convince you it is better), digital technology has evolved to the point that the vast majority of professional photographers […] use digital cameras.
“Film processing requires toxic chemicals, takes a long time, costs more, and does not yield higher-quality results. By staying digital, your photographer can quickly and easily delete unwanted images, provide you with proofs, color correct, and post all of the photos on the web. With digital photography, only the pictures you want are printed, saving additional resources.”
She finishes with the recommendation that green couples ditch the disposable cameras. It’s common sense as nearly everyone has a digital camera these days – there is absolutely no need to give your guests even more of an excuse to become paparazzi for the day.
Suzan St Maur in How to get married in green: Have an eco-friendly wedding without compromising on style has a useful check list of things to consider when looking for a suitably green wedding venue:
The format for a wedding has become rather fixed in recent years: ceremony, reception with sit-down meal, dancing until the early hours with more food (even though everybody is still full to bursting from the huge reception meal which inevitably finished hours later than it was supposed to).
But it wasn’t always like that – my parents married in the 1970s, had the ceremony, a lunch with friends and family and then headed off on their honeymoon to Northumberland… in November. Simpler times!
Suzan offers us some refreshing alternatives to today’s standard wedding timetable:
“Brunch receptions – From a green point of view they are helpful because they are held from late morning to early afternoon, so requiring less in the way of artificial light. From a catering point of view they can encompass pretty well anything you like, from organic free range eggs and locally-cured bacon on locally made organic toasted bread… to a full lunch menu. The style is less formal than the traditional afternoon/evening reception, and there is usually less alcohol consumption. […]
“Tea receptions – This may seem like a quirky idea but it does cut back on the cost of food and drink and is a lovely variant […] Food wise you serve everything you would at a formal tea party, which in this case can be produced from locally sourced and made sandwiches, cakes, pastries and sweets. Organic tea is the main drink which can be supplemented by alcohol if required. The time frame for this type of reception is mid-afternoon until early evening […]”
We would also suggest that the less formal and traditional style of these receptions alters guests’ expectations which could take off the pressure if you or your friends and family fancy taking on some of the catering yourselves.
Phew. So there you have it – 12 top tips for 2012 weddings from our green wedding gurus. A big thank you to all of them for their wise words.
If you have more fantastic, eco-friendly tips that you really shouldn’t keep to yourself, please share them in the comments below.
Happy planning!
Katie
Nov 9th, 2011 by Katie
Fireworks, food, fancy clothes and fights – the typical Muslim wedding?
Today we are very pleased to share Green Prophet blog’s tips for a greener Muslim wedding (originally published July 2010). Over to Green Prophet…
The sun is shining and the days are long right now in the Middle East, which can only mean one thing – it’s wedding season!
Image via Amrufum
Invitations are flooding in and every night there seems to be a wedding party going on into the small hours. Fireworks, food, fancy clothes and fights is how I would usually sum up an average Muslim wedding in the Middle East but is this leaving behind a trail of waste and carbon emissions?
I spoke to Rianne ten Veen of the book ’199 Ways to Please God’ who came up with some practical advice for couples on how to ‘green’ their wedding as well as their future together.
A Muslim convert with a long-standing passion for the environment, Rianne’s suggestions are all based on principles she outlines in her book which are organised around four key areas of Islamic life: beliefs, worship, transactions and moral character.
There are already some great eco-traditions at Arab Muslim weddings which mean that waste is minimised.
Buses are provided for guests to travel to the wedding location if it is far, any leftover food is given out and you’ll find an array of young children after your empty can of juice which earns them a couples of coins when they get it recycled.
Honeymoons also tend to be in a neighbouring country which cuts down the air miles.
However, following Rianne’s tips can help fully ‘green’ a Muslim wedding and – more importantly – encourage couples to become more conscious of the need to make green decisions in every aspect of their lives.
Worry about the weather
Bear in mind the weather when planning your wedding and avoid mid-winter or summer when you would be forced to heat or cool the venue. Not only would this cut your carbon footprint, a spring and autumn wedding is bound to be cheaper!
Organise Transport
Guests travelling to the venue tends to be one of the most carbon-intensive aspects of a wedding so make sure that the wedding venue is reachable by public transport and encourage attendees to arrive on foot/ bus/ train. Include information on public transport on the invite and mention that the venue has a place to freshen up. If this isn’t possible, then follow in the footsteps of Middle Eastern weddings and arrange for a coach or bus to take people to the event and back.
Green your Vows
Ask the imam doing the nikah (matrimonial contract) to include the Islamic duty of humans as guardians towards all creation, and incorporate a commitment by both the bridge and groom that they will do everything in their capacity to faithfully fulfill this duty and strengthen each other to have the best record on Day of Judgment in this respect.
Accept Gifts
“Instead of accepting commercial gifts, propose a donation to have trees planted which could include having trees planted ‘back home’ in case of diaspora or in the poorest areas of the world through a charity. This wouldn’t just offset some of the wedding CO2, but also ensure that the poor and those away benefit from the wedding in the form of shade, erosion prevention and a better livelihood.”
Waste Food
The other most energy-intensive aspect of a wedding is the food so it’s important to be organised and use local and organic produce. “Also, make arrangements beforehand with a homeless charity to arrange for them to take any leftover food from the wedding feast.” Whilst it’s best not to have any leftovers in the first place, sometimes this is just unavoidable and although Islamically it shouldn’t be a feast, I guess we have to take one step at a time!
Buy Everything New
“If you’re having several events (such as girls night, walima, nikah party), instead of buying new outfits for each occasion, organise a ‘swap party’ where attendees swap clothes they no longer wear. Also suggest that the bride and groom and family wear organic/ recycled clothing.”
Finally, continue the green theme to the entertainment by organising environmental poetry such as Rabi’a Al-Adawiyya or Rumi!
Hopefully applying these tips – which can be used by anybody – will not only affirm the couple’s commitment to the environment but also inform and influence the guests into taking practical action to protect the environment in their daily lives.
Thank you for a great post Green Prophet! If you’ve had a green Muslim wedding, please get in touch and we can share your story in our Real Ethical Weddings library.
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Katie
ethicalweddings.com
ethical weddings blog.
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