I’d like to share my ideas with you – brides and grooms trying to plan a wedding less ordinary – and see what you think.  How has it been for you?  What have been the challenges? What have been the triumphs? If you were starting again, would you go for a green wedding again?

Have a read… and let us have your comments.  Here goes:

Back in 2004 when we were planning our own wedding and planting the first seeds for the Ethical Weddings website we asked people what they thought of the idea of a green or ethical wedding (limiting environmental impact, choosing products and services that give something back: fair trade, organic, local). The usual response was: won’t that be more expensive?

Fast forward 5 years and into one deep, dark recession you’d expect that misconception to have landed the green wedding squarely in the compost bin.

Not so. Because the bevy of ethical brides and green grooms who have trod lightly down the aisle since have shown us that if you’re after a green wedding less really is more. It’s a perfect match for the make do and mend spirit revived by our current crunch.
As we all cut back, the big star-for-a-day, broke-ever-after wedding is going down.

Something borrowed

There’s no longer any shame in sharing (something borrowed?) or secondhand – just type ‘wedding’ into your local Freecycle site and you’ll find brides and mothers-of seeking and offering wedding gowns, bridesmaid dress patterns, cake stands, and more. And don’t forget the rage for all things vintage which makes a charity shop wedding gown the ultimate in eco chic.

DIY weddings

In the effort to curb costs, couples discover doing-it-yourself can be a lot of fun and bring family and friends together. Blogger brides on the Ethical Weddings website suggest tips on everything from grow-your-own bridal flowers to cooking up the wedding breakfast. As Henriette says of catering for her 40-guest wedding:

“It was all down to good planning (yes, I had made a spreadsheet!) and choosing food which could nearly all be made a day in advance. […] it was a great success with food far better than we ever would have been able to pay for if we had hired caterers. And it was a lovely thing for our families to do together.”

Meanwhile, Jenny grew daffs, crocuses and primroses in her garden. These “…made great table and floor decorations which are living on in gardens and conservatories.”

Green brides don’t mind getting their hands dirty!

Ethical and green wedding experts

DIY done, it’s time to turn to the growing number of ethical and green wedding specialists for your nuptial needs – whether that’s organic, handcrafted chocolate favours, a pre-loved, re-fashioned wedding dress or perhaps a rickshaw to get you to the church on time. They won’t add ££s at the whisper of the word ‘wedding’ but will work with your budget to help create the wedding of your dreams without compromising your values.

Loving local

Support local suppliers too – even if they’re not yet waving the green flag. You may find them willing to consider fresh ideas in difficult times. Ethical Weddings blogger, Emma says:

“We’ve found that so many people are willing to change details of their standard products to fit in with our ethics – you just need to ask. Joy [wedding cake maker] is a great example. She’d been wanting to “go ethical” and just needed someone to ask her to do it.

A wedding to remember

It seems the slump has made us more careful about if and how we use our hard-earned cash. We’re getting down with DIY and spending with businesses that share our values. The payoff? A more personal and memorable day for us and a little something back for our poor put-upon planet.

The green wedding is here to stay!

Katie

From the very first page, I was pretty sceptical that you could have a decent wedding for the tiny amounts that readers had testified to.  A wedding of your dreams for $1500!!!!

Before I read it, I could probably guess at some of the tips – do everything yourself – but I was hoping for some tips on how to reduce some of the little things that add up.

We are in the middle of planning our wedding (in four months time) and from the beginning I was shocked at the amounts that people spend on their wedding.

Since that day to now, my tune has definitely changed.  Firstly because everything costs WAAAY more than you expect.  And secondly because you start falling in love with things like venues, outfits, bands etc. I was determined to do everything myself, but as time went on, I decided to weigh money against sanity… and my sanity often won out.

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So, to the book.

There are lots and lots of valuable (American) links to specific sites for planning tools, dresses, favours, honeymoon etc. I clicked on a few of them and they look good but I’m not sure how closely they’ve vetted the websites or if they are specifically low cost ones. They also include a handy global directory for other countries as a starting point if you are not based in America.

I think the ebook would look more professional with better pictures and more consistent branding throughout. The layout isn’t always helpful, with all the links up front, and then the story of Tim and Lisa’s own wedding in the middle.

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Having said that, there is some great stuff in here for those who are pulling their hair out not knowing where to start.

Planning

The section about budgeting is handy if you have little experience of budgeting. It’s a nice and simple step by step explanation of what a wedding budget is and how to account for line items.  It also gives a list of what items go into wedding planning.

I skimmed this part because professionally I’ve done budgeting in my job, so I actually had a budget in place before we even got engaged (which I then “shared” with my new fiancé!).  I realise this won’t be the case for everyone though so if the thought of setting a budget scares you – read this section!

Why get married?

The next part asks you to write down why you are getting married. This is definitely a good reminder, as it can easily get out of proportion.

They even ask the hard question, do you really want to get married? Ouch – imagine breaking that to your fiancé after reading this book!

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There’s also some good advice here on your wedding “must haves” early in the planning.

The good stuff

About 70 pages in we find the really good stuff.  A fantastic chapter about “Elegance and Effectiveness”. This is great advice because when planning a wedding it’s easy to think that everything needs extra flourish, every piece of furniture at the wedding needs a flower, and everything has to match.

This reminded me that everything we spend money on has to contribute to the elegance of the occasion, not just because that’s what “weddings should have”.

Money

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Who should pay for the wedding? There’s a handy list of who pays for what “traditionally” and some tips for different approaches. This is personally a bit of a minefield in weddings, so any advice for couples is much appreciated.

They even introduce the concept of having a sponsored wedding, which intrigued me. They have detailed advice on how to approach this if it’s for you (not for me, but FABULOUS idea!).

More palatable to most people is the idea of identifying people in your network who can help you with their talents or services for little or no fee.  Once again, they offer practical step by step advice.

Lastly, they offer some ideas of which parts you could do yourself, from taking courses in flower arranging, to doing your own invitations and other crafty bits and pieces.

download A Lawyer Walks Into a Bar… Throughout this money section, the authors give concrete examples of how they funded different parts of their own wedding as well as bargain tips, such as getting a dress from ebay, going to garage sales and checking classified ads for second hand wedding stuff.

Most of this will be common sense but it was a good reminder – especially as common sense can go out of the window when it comes to weddings! What was particularly useful were the tips to think outside the box – not everything has to be specifically for a wedding because that usually carries a big price tag – just search a little more. These tips include looking at cheaper times or dates for the day. This is probably not something that you would immediately think about.

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A good ‘how to’ guide

Overall, I would invest in this book if you feel you just don’t know where to start – particularly around planning and budgeting.

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If you are seriously on a budget but don’t have time to start scouring the net for money-saving ideas, then it would also really help you. I did get some good tips from this book and I think others would too.

Thanks Denise! As well as being an Ethical Weddings blogger bride, Denise runs Raw Brides – intrigued? Find out more at www.rawbrides.com

Katie

Chat with other green grooms and ethical brides in the Ethical Weddings Forum