But what to pop it with? And what to tie the knot with once it’s been popped? How can we find engagement and wedding rings that share the love a little?

Well we can start by ditching the blood diamonds. It’s a few years now since the practice of selling diamonds to fund conflicts against legitimate governments went under the spotlight in the film ‘Blood Diamond’ (starring Leonardo Di Caprio).

But while the Kimberley Process (set up to stamp out blood or conflict diamonds as they are also known) has made some progress it isn’t there yet – so we as consumers need to keep asking questions.

Under the Kimberley Process Certification Scheme jewellers should be able to show us a certificate stating that their diamonds are ‘conflict free’. It’s not foolproof but it helps and shows the industry that this is an important issue for us – their customers.

Then it’s time to dig a bit further – into the environmental and social impacts of the mining of diamonds and the other precious stones and metals that make up our rings. What can the jeweller tell us about the working conditions of those who mined them?

Are they paid a fair wage? And what about how the mine is run? Is the environment protected as much as possible – for example by mining without the use of cyanide, mercury or arsenic? Read more about the impacts of mining and what we need to know when choosing our rings.

On the other hand we could avoid the mining issue altogether and go for a ring made from recycled metals or even wood, perhaps sporting a lab-grown diamond, or we could re-use and recycle with a pre-loved vintage ring or family heirloom.

Ethical jewellers – and some great special offers

To save lots of searching for jewellers doing the right thing, and a bit of hard-earned cash with some great special offers, here’s a rundown of our Ethical Weddings jewellery designers.

Leblas’s wedding rings, engagement rings and bridal jewellery are all crafted from recycled gold and platinum and traceable diamonds and precious stones.

Valentine’s Special Offer: Buy one wedding ring and get the second wedding ring half price until 15 March 2010. Just call on +44 (0)20 7730 3418 and quote “ethical weddings“.

Fifi Bijoux use fairly traded, ethically mined gold and gems from socially, environmentally responsible mines. The jewellery is made here in the UK by master goldsmiths.

Valentine’s Special Offer: Get a £20 voucher to spend with Fifi Bijoux when you quote the code ‘ETHICAL VALENTINES’. Offer ends 21 March 2010.

Chocolate Couture support the Kimberley Process and the use of conflict-free diamonds. Their gemstone supplier has signed up to their Ethical Policy and they can source Canadian diamonds on request. Their handcrafted wedding bands are made in their workshop in the UK.

Valentine’s Special Offer: 2 for 1 on recycled 9 carat gold Ethical Bond wedding rings (3mm width) £295.00 pair

Diamond Culture bypass the mining process by offering laboratory-grown diamonds that are not simulants or imitations but chemically, physically and optically identical to mined diamonds.

Valentine’s Special Offer:
Diamond Culture Collection: 20% off Justine, Olivia and Danila engagement rings plus option to replace the featured diamond by any stone from their loose diamonds collection.
Danielle Goffa Collection: 20% off all rings
Loose Diamonds Collection: 20% off Sol22, Sol24, Sold28, Sol26 and Sol18 loose diamonds. 10% off the rest of the collection.

To claim your discount email victor@diamondculture.be quoting: “Ethical Weddings Valentine Special Offer”. Offer ends 28 February 2010

EcoChic showcase a growing range of ethical jewellery – including gorgeous wedding and engagement rings – from inspirational designers and are dedicated to the principles of fair trade and sustainable living.

Valentine’s Special Offer: Win ethical Oria Jewellery by entering EcoChic’s competition

Cred Jewellery are proud to be the original ethical luxury jewellers. Cred have spent the last 10 years pioneering a responsible supply chain so customers can buy products that marry ethics and aesthetics.

They are compliant with the Kimberley Process but also plan to develop a fair trade process for precious stones.

Greg Valerio who founded Cred is spearheading a campaign to help the native Inuit Greenlanders fight for their rights to prospect for the ruby through small-scale, responsible mining just as their ancestors have done for centuries. Read more about the campaign Free Greenland Ruby

Brilliant Earth bring you conflict-free diamonds from Canada, ethical origin sapphires, and eco-friendly gold, platinum and sterling silver. They are dedicated to ensuring that every single gemstone is mined, cut, and finished in a socially and ethically responsible manner so you can rest assured your engagement or wedding ring is a true symbol of love.

Brilliant Earth explore the implications of our ring choices in this feature which tells us how to ‘Make love not war on Valentine’s Day’

Ingle & Rhode only buy diamonds guaranteed to be conflict-free and their diamond cutters and polishers enjoy good working conditions.

Their gold is fairly traded and mined without the use of cyanide or mercury.

Jane Runchman Jewellery designs and makes beautiful and elegant engagement rings and wedding rings from recycled gold and platinum.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Katie

He started talking, as he often does, about having babies, to which I replied there would be no babies until a) he stopped smoking b) we were married. He thought about it for a while and then said, “so shall we get married then?” and I said, “shut up”, and he said, “no really”, and I said “shut up” and he said, “no really” and that went on for a while.

When I realised he was serious I immediately made him phone his mother and tell her so he couldn’t back out the next day. Two months later, I have a ring and we have a venue and we even have a vague date. He now claims he was delirious when he asked, but the ring: she speaks otherwise!

The ring was the first big thing we wanted to do. It was obvious to both of us there would have to be an element of ethical-ness about the proceedings, and there was no way I was going to wear a ring of dubious provenance. We wandered around the Lanes looking in windows but nothing was inspiring us. The choice was vast, but no one appeared to be doing anything even slightly right-on.

I had a part-time job in a jewellers when I was studying (ha!) for my A levels so was well aware of the waste and pollution associated with the trade. A book I read recently about the spread of AIDS in Africa had also highlighted to me that supporting the gold and diamond industry was also to support human rights abuses which are not just as simple as one man in one mine having a hard time, but which radiate throughout all of society and impact upon us all.

As we looked I became increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of a whole new ring made just for me when there was so much already out there, so we started looking at second hand rings. Then I became even more uncomfortable with the price tags. It’s not that I’m tight with money, it’s just I’ve never really bought into the whole idea of retail therapy. Spending lots of money makes me really really stressed. Swapping and bargaining, on the other hand, is excellent fun.

So we were at a bit of an impasse, when my mother offered me her engagement ring from my father. They were divorced about 400 years ago, and it had been sitting in her jewellery box collecting dust since then.

It was bought in Hatton Garden some time in the 70s, so we have no way of finding out its history, but for us the balance is that we are not using any resources to create something new, or spending any money to create a demand, we are just using what is already there.

It turned out to the perfect solution. Neither of us had any worries about it being bad luck because of my parents failed marriage (is success only measured if you make it till death does you part?), it is shiny enough to appeal to my magpie-like tendencies, and it is the making of a new family heirloom which we can pass on to whichever of our children get married first. If Toby ever stops smoking, of course.

Sarah 
Rocks Magazine

If I could have chosen one place in the world to fall in love, it would have been Woodford Folk Festival. Living in Brisbane, Australia, since 2000 (and prior to that, Birmingham, England), I have been constantly enthralled by the beautiful surroundings of my favourite city. Just to the North of Brisbane, Woodford lies in the Sunshine Coast Hinterland, in view of the Glass House Mountains.

As editor of Soulshine, an Australian independent music website, I have been very much involved in the music scene since 2004. Woodford represents the highlight of the music year for many people in Australia, and it now has an added significance for me! Lachie and I met as we were volunteering together on the same festival bar, and we got together on December 30th, 2005. I must have known I was on to something, as I sent a midnight text message to everyone in my phone book, telling them I had met someone amazing!

Knowing I was moving to Melbourne to be with a sick friend just ten days later, we spent every minute together until the time came to say goodbye. By now we were well and truly in love, and spent the next two months spending hours and a small fortune staying in contact by phone. After moving back to Brisbane, Lachie moved to a house just 70 metres from mine, and our lives were shared from then on. So it was that in September 2007, when I had to return to England, that Lachlan found himself returning with me.

Lachie is a high school teacher, and little did I know that when he went to school, he was plotting with other teachers and teaching assistants how to pop the question. We had talked about it a little, feeling that marriage was our next logical step, and when our second anniversary came around, I hoped that he would seize the moment! However, it was midafternoon by the time we set off for the little town of Kirkby Lonsdale in Cumbria for our daytrip, and the sun was starting to set by the time we sat down on a bench overlooking ‘Ruskins View’. In fact, Lachie was so busy trying to find the right words that it was almost complete darkness when he actually proposed. What a relief!

Of course, it’s only once you’re a bride-to-be that you suddenly realise what that actually entails! My first few forays across the internet in search of ideas left me quite horrified and somewhat scared at what we were facing. We are pretty simple people, and although I don’t consider myself an eco-warrior (despite the dreadlocks!), I was appalled at how opulent and resource-hungry the wedding industry appears to be. Ironically, the more opulence we found, the more determined we became to have a simple, honest wedding that met our basic requirements to be a positive experience and eco-friendly.

In my next post, I’ll describe the arduous process of searching for the right venue.. and share the links to some of the places I found!

How to choose the right engagement ring?

Choosing a ring can be time consuming, expensive and stressful. So how do you find a deal that will leave both you and your fiancée smiling?

BUDGET:
An obvious starting point is to consider how much you want to spend. Traditionally, men have been expected to part with between one and two months salary. But the short answer is that you should invest as much as you feel you can realistically afford – it’s certainly not worth getting yourself into financial difficulties.

JEWELLER:
Make sure that you are dealing with a reputable retailer. They should be willing for you to examine their rings under a jeweller’s loupe, and should be more than happy to answer any technical questions that you might have.

You might want to consider only buying a diamond that comes with independent certification from a recognised laboratory. If a particular stone hasn’t been certified independently, your jeweller should have no objection to you getting it certified at your own expense before committing to purchase.

And remember you are entitled to ask your jeweller to prove to you exactly where his diamonds come from. If he or she is in any way unhelpful or evasive, perhaps think twice about buying.

DIAMONDS:
How do you choose the best diamond to suit your budget? At this point you will have to wade through a bit of technical jargon to make sure you get it right.

Carat Weight: Generally speaking, the bigger the diamond, the more valuable it is. Traditionally, men often bought one-carat stones for engagement rings, but it is perfectly acceptable to buy stones of less than a carat as prices go up exponentially with size.

TIP: A good quality stone of less than a carat may well represent better value for money.

Cut: The better the cut, the more effectively the stone will reflect and refract light. This is one area where it is not worth compromising. Budget permitting, try to choose a diamond with at least a ‘Good’ cut grade. The term cut can also be a reference to the stones shape, whether it is Round Brilliant, Princess, or some other fancy shape.

TIP: The Round Brilliant cut has been evolved over decades to maximize a diamond’s sparkle more than other cuts.

Colour: Very few diamonds are perfectly white; most have a natural hint of colour in them. Colour is graded from D down to Z. Ideally, you would aim for something in the range E-H, anything above ‘H’ will look white to the naked eye.

Clarity: Most diamonds have small imperfections or impurities trapped inside them, known as inclusions. Stones graded I1 and below contain inclusions that are visible with the naked eye. Ideally, you would aim for at least VS2 clarity, but if your budget is stretched you could consider dropping to SI clarity without it being a problem.

SETTINGS:
Most modern engagement rings are made from white metals with a solitaire diamond. But any information you have about your partner’s taste in jewellery is priceless. Do you have access to any other rings she has bought, or does she have a friend you can trust to advise you? Some jewellers will offer you an exchange for another ring of similar value.

TIP: You might choose to buy a loose diamond, which you can present to her at the moment you get engaged. Then the two of you can go shopping together, and she can pick a ring to set it in.

Finally, if you are reading this blog, you will know that there are significant ethical considerations to buying an engagement ring or wedding band. You can read about how we tackle these issues at Ingle & Rhode under our ethical jewellery policies or talk about them with other brides and grooms in the ethical engagement ring section of the Ethical Weddings Forum

Firstly, due to the Kimberley Process the likelihood of someone buying a conflict diamond is now less than 1%.

The only main source for these stones is now the Cote D’Ivoire which will account for approx $23 million in an industry worth $60 billion.

This is however still very concerning and therefore important as $23 million buys a lot of guns.

Canadian Diamonds are, however, the best current source of stones for the following reasons if bought from certain companies.

• Canada is conflict free
• Consent has been given by native groups as to the land from which they are mined
• Mining companies have had to place financial securities with the Canadian Government as a fund to be used for restoration of the environment after the mining has been finished

The stones Cred uses have been mined, cut and polished in Canada, come with a certificate of origin, and have an environmental certificate as well. Currently, it is the best system in the world, but by no means foolproof.

Canadian stones do not, however, answer the problems of poverty and exploitation in Africa and this remains a serious concern. Cred continues to work on a fair trade process for diamonds which we believe is the answer to the issues surrounding alluvial diamonds.

Campaign NGOs are exactly what they are, campaign groups, they research and highlight the negative hoping that this will bring about the change they believe is the right one. Sometimes however their solution is wrong and because they are broadly unaccountable (they call it independent) and broadly disengaged from business they do not have the required knowledge to be able to respond holistically.

They will never be able to solve the problem because they are not in the diamond business, they are on the sidelines looking in. Global Witness and Amnesty International particularly are guilty of this. They have rightly highlighted issues that were/are occuring and for that we must be thankful. But they are not the answer.

When I have spoken to them, historically, they have not really grasped the extent of the social, environmental and livelihood issues diamond diggers face (this is the real violence in the diamond industry) nor have they had any creative ideas as to how to solve the problem. This has been their great failing, focusing on conflict to the neglect of the broader and more endemic issues.

This is why we are articulating as a social business that Fair Trade and a Fair Trade Diamond will begin to address these issues. There is much work to be done to deliver this idea, but the exciting thing is that we are making good progress and I anticipate a FT stone within the next 5 years. This will be 5 years too late for many people, it is for me, but guilt is the paymaster general of inertia, hope is the mother of justice and therefore we must deliver.

For more information you are very welcome to contact us at info@credjewellery.com or visit our website www.credjewellery.com

Greg Valerio

Read more posts on engagement and wedding rings

But was the film too little too late? Or have the issues moved on?

Since the post I wrote for City Hippy on this subject last year, it seems much has changed.

Now it is not just conflict free diamonds we’re talking about, but green diamonds, fair trade diamonds…

And what has happened to the conflict diamonds, are they still out there?

There are those who say we should drop diamonds altogether, others who insist they are an important industry for workers in developing countries.

In the next few posts on this subject, we will be looking at Canadian diamonds, hearing from Cred Jewellery who are pushing for the introduction of fair trade certification for diamonds, and getting ready for green diamonds.

We also want to hear from you.  Do you already have a diamond ring? How did you choose it? Or did you decide against diamonds? Do you have a good alternative for us?

Have you seen the film ‘Blood Diamonds’? Was it useful? Will it make a difference? Or did it come too late?

Drop us a line…and let the diamond debate begin!

Take care,

Katie
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Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

…that way we can be a bit different and toast that momentous moment after which there was no going back!

But what did you do, or did you do anything at all? In our latest newsletter, we’re asking for your opinions on ‘V’ Day… what do you reckon? Reclaim the romance or dismiss it as commercial rubbish? Tell us your thoughts in the Forum.

Elsewhere, we are very pleased to welcome two new bloggers to the Ethical Weddings blog: read the profile of our ‘Surfer Chicks’, who are planning an ethical civil partnership on the south coast, and of Jenny, our bride from Berkshire, who got engaged at Everest base camp!

And don’t forget to check in again tomorrow, when you can read the Surfer Chicks’ first post.

Happy planning!

Katie
ethicalweddings.com