Faye and David got married at Folly Farm near Bristol in April this year and did all they could to make the wedding as local and low carbon as possible.

With hay bales and bunting, tipis and homemade lanterns, and Somerset cider and cheese, this is a proper (and very stylish) English country wedding.

Read all about Faye and David’s special day

Katie

But before we jump into the interview, a bit of background.

Brian and Jordan are the happy couple who, when it came to planning their wedding, decided to do things a little differently….

Rules of Project Priceless

The mission:
to plan and put on a wedding for ourselves that is (ideally) free-of-charge.

The method:
to invite family, friends, and community to provide the elements that will create the wedding.

Ideally, everything from dress to wedding favours will be offered, borrowed, or donated.

We are also allowed to utilize trade, whether we trade something we have for something you have, or if we can offer a good or service of our own to trade with yours.

• Read more here

The Ethical Weddings interview

Brian and Jordan celebrated their wedding on 22 August. Here’s what they had to say…

To achieve a priceless wedding:

Which traditional or ‘must-have’ wedding items and services have you decided to do without?

We started off saying that we wouldn’t have most of the traditional wedding items, i.e. cake cutting utensils, wedding rings, etc; but people offered us so many things that we ended up incorporating a lot of these traditional items in the end.

Our cake knife and server, for example, were loaned to us by another couple.

Other traditional items, we made instead of purchasing or finding pre-made: our cake topper owls, for example, we made by hand.

Our guestbook was simply a copy of ‘Where the Wild Things Are‘- the first book I ever gave to Brian. We had guests write all over inside the book.

Which items have you been able to source second-hand – are there any that are particularly special for being second-hand (or pre-loved shall we say?) Any great stories behind the items you have sourced?

Tablecloths: The tablecloths were a total surprise. We’d put the word out on freecycling groups that we needed tablecloths, and had asked for white ones, figuring it’d be too hard to find any in a colour we were using.

Shortly, a former bride wrote to us and said she had forty lovely tablecloths if we were willing to be flexible on the colour. Turns out, they are the exact shade of green we were using for the whole wedding!

Buttons: In the middle of each taffeta flower on my wedding gown, you’ll see a few buttons sewn on.

These buttons were donated to us by various blog readers from their own home button jars.

Once this idea came to me, there was no other dress I wanted to have.

It was like having little good luck charms sewn all over my dress!

Centrepieces: Our centrepieces were almost entirely recycled.

To make them up we used:

• old cans
• buttons
• liquor bottles
• broken clocks

In the end, all 25 centrepieces cost us only $3.00 – TOTAL, not each!

For my bride’s gift to Brian, I wanted to find an antique pocketwatch, but ended up not having to look far: my father asked if I would gift Brian with his very own.

Not exactly ‘recycling’ but definitely second-hand…even third, fourth, or fifth-hand now.

A wedding archway: We also made something second-hand happen on the day of our wedding: a local carpentry business called CRL Construction gave us our archway for the wedding, making it just for us; when we saw it at the venue (Stanley’s Maple Farm in Russell) we realized we couldn’t take it home…it looked perfect just where it was.

We asked Stanley’s if they’d like to keep it and have other couples marry under it, and they were thrilled. I’m sad it’s not in my backyard but it feels good to share the wealth. Chris from CRL Construction thought the idea was wonderful, too. It was a touching gesture for everyone.

Which items have you borrowed and from whom? How do you feel about giving them back after the big day?

The borrowed items like our cake cutting set, our wishing well, and our LED tea lights are all gone (or going) back to their owners now…and that’s totally okay. I have lots of little things around the house to remember the wedding by, and by the time everything’s been sent home, I will have way less junk to store away than most brides do.

We also posted an ad and freecycled all our tablecloths and reuseable decorations a few days after the wedding, so except for a few choice items (like our cake topper, some feathers, etc), we tried to pass everything along to other people attempting to avoid the wedding industry machine.

And finally:

What perspective has this process given you on the wedding industry?

This wedding has helped me realize that the wedding industry is, indeed, money-driven.

Every wedding show on TV, every wedding magazine and most wedding books are all about telling a couple what they need to procure for their big day to ‘make it a wedding’.

This is so unfortunate.

When we first started planning, we decided that the only mandatory things for our day were:

• an officiant
• a cake
• a fancy dress

The rest is just stuff we’ve been told we need, but none of it makes a wedding.

In the end, the community and local businesses got very excited about the wedding and we ended up with lots of those ‘extras’ like wedding favours and bouquets…but some things fell through, and we didn’t fret about it, because we remembered our mantra of ‘An officiant, a cake, and a fancy dress’.

Our story has been carried by a huge number of papers, television stations, and radio shows, but no one from the traditional bridal industry has come anywhere near us.

I think we threaten their very existence – both with our clever upcycling, and also with our clever marketing of our vendors (at far less cost to the businesses) through our blog’s word-of-mouth.

Has the project made you think about what we need and don’t need in more general terms? Will you carry on buying second-hand, borrowing, looking for freebies, doing without in your married life?

We were already huge upcyclers and freecyclers, but this project was really strict and we were always under a microscope, so it taught us to really commit to the concept.

We will indeed be continuing on, starting a Phase II to our blog in a couple weeks, tentatively called Project: Priceless – The Newlywed Edition.

We’re going to blog the first year of marriage, including home makeover, learning to cook, and other ‘nesting’ behaviours, and we’re going to stick to the Project: Priceless model of keeping costs low, upcycling, and trading for services.

A big thank you to Brian and Jordan for taking the time to tell us more about their project. We wish them all the best as they begin their ‘priceless’ married life together.

• Keep up with their news at projectpriceless.blogspot.com

Many thanks also to their photographers for the wonderful photos. Credits from top as follows:

Photo 1: Adam Pap
Photo 2: Aiden Wolf Photography
Photo 3: Laura Elizabeth Photography
Photo 4: Laura Elizabeth Photography
Photo 5: Aiden Wolf Photography

Katie

The couple: Helen and Julian
Wedding date: 16 April 2011
Venue and location: St. Mary’s Church, Pype Hayes, Birmingham.  Reception at my school.
Approx budget: £5,500 not including honeymoon (we had that as our gift list)

What inspired you to have an ethical wedding?

A friend at church suggested it to us. Julian is very eco conscious, he is a member of Friends of the Earth and always cycles and walks instead of using his car.

I am keen to use eco products and love the natural world.

Also we are both Christians and want to act fairly in our dealings with others.

What was the hardest part?

Sometimes finding the right information.

We thought we had chosen well buying ‘eco’ Chinese lanterns and then subsequently discovered that they were still hazardous to farm animals.

Also you do have to search harder for things, although websites like ethicalweddings.com are helping to make this easier.

And the most fun bit?

Knowing that our special day was actually blessing others too. A wedding is often an expensive event.

However, the money we spent meant that not only we, our family and our friends enjoyed the day but that others were being helped through organisations such as Cred Jewellery and Oxfam.

It was also very precious to get married at our church, St. Mary’s, Pype Hayes as it was the same church that I had attended as a teenager and where I first made a commitment to God.

We had our reception at my school. My head teacher let us use a large hall called The Octagon. It was perfect for our meal and Ceilidh afterwards.

How did it go on the day?

Everything on the day went beautifully. We loved every minute of it.

The venue was one of the best parts as, being a school (my school so I knew where everything was!), it catered for small children so the families could really relax without worrying whether the kids were well looked after.

What are your top tips for an ethical and green wedding?

• Do look into buying rings through an ethical company such as Cred Jewellery. It’s often one of the biggest expense when planning a wedding. There has been much in the media about blood diamonds and the poor treatment of workers in gold and diamond mines. I know every time I look at my rings that our choice made a difference.
• Try Oxfam Bridal and other charities that have bridal shops around the UK. They have such a huge selection and it actually cut a lot off our budget. Everyone said how beautiful I looked on the day and I felt good knowing I had contributed towards helping people like those suffering through famine at the moment.
• Donate your dress to a charity. You could bless someone like me
• Think about holding your wedding reception somewhere like a school. It’s usually big so you can have a large guest list (we fitted in more than 140). Also it’s child friendly!
• Think very carefully before letting off Chinese lanterns. Even the ‘eco’ ones can still be alight when they land.

In other news, I hear a certain Kate and William are getting married today.

Being neither an ardent royalist nor a staunch republican, I have managed to resist making a comment on the royal wedding so far – despite being inundated by royal-related press releases on everything from royal wedding dentures to royal wedding saucepans (ok, I forget the exact details) but as today is the day here is my two pennies’ worth.

Every aspect of the royal wedding has been put under the microscope so it’s no surprise that the ‘But is it green?’ debate has had a decent airing.

As far as I can see, they’ve made an effort which deserves at least 1 tick in my book.

They’re supporting a fair few charities instead of going for a traditional gift list which ok, seems pretty obvious – how much stuff could they possibly need? – but still, the charities they’ve picked aren’t all the usual suspects so are probably personal choices that mean something to them.

Organic, seasonal, UK produce should also feature strongly – with Prince Charles on the scene I’d be surprised if it didn’t.

But really, how green can this wedding be? The Telegraph has had a stab at calculating its carbon footprint but you don’t need to do the maths to know that its environmental impact is going to be huge simply because it’s such a massive event.

I just hope they have a great time.

I can’t imagine what it must be like to have the whole world invited to what would normally be one of the most intimate and emotional days of your life.

Will they get chance to catch up with their friends and family? Will they be able to snatch a few moments on their own to whisper sweet nothings? Will they be able to let their hair down and dance around like crazy things?

Here’s hoping (Harry, it might be over to you).

A toast – to the bride and groom!

Now, Mum, another slice of birthday cake?

Katie

But the twist is that the 2 couples involved will plan each other’s wedding.

And they won’t have met before (the couples won’t have met before, not the respective brides and grooms… I think you get the picture).

Can you compromise to create the day of your dreams?

So the 2 couples have to work side by side, sometimes compromising to design the weddings of their dreams.

The best bit: the TV company will pay for it.

Of course, this could be a chance to go crazy with the Cinderella coach and the type of meringue extravaganza that requires the bride to walk sideways up the aisle, but it could also be an opportunity to showcase just how stylish and desirable a green and ethical wedding can be.

What next?

If you’re looking to get married in 2011/2012 and want to find out more, contact: brides@dragonfly.tv or call 0207 033 2291

Katie

Our thanks to Arià Clotet for the photo and Emma Field for modelling

I remember waking up on my wedding day and crying (yep, crying, it was raining and I hadn’t planned for that) but then the clouds cleared, the sun came out and all the stress of my wedding dress and my bridesmaids’ dresses (don’t ask, you really don’t want to know) just drifted away like rose petal confetti on the breeze.

It was a day for friends and family: lots of laughter, lots of catching up, lots of dancing, no more crying.

By the end of the day we were exhausted but ecstatic.  And the only reason I didn’t want to do it all over again was that I couldn’t imagine how it could possibly be as good as it was!

Some things have changed over the years.  Some friends who were there we don’t really see anymore.  Other, new friends I wish could have been there to share it with us.  We don’t go out as much as we did and occasionally we snap at each other in a way that we didn’t.

But other things haven’t.  We do stay in touch with many of our friends from that time – even if we don’t see them as much, the friendships are still strong.

Jamie still does most of the cooking while I sit here tapping away on the computer.  We’re also still exhausted – though that’s mostly due to our now not-so-new arrival, the inimitable and gorgeous Polly Pickle.

And we still love each other just as much.  No, that has changed, we love each other more.

Happy Anniversary my darling.

Katie

You can read our wedding story – written way back then here: Katie & Jamie’s wedding

Laura took tips from The Natural Wedding Book for the civilised start to proceedings with a jewellery-making class followed by afternoon tea (am still regretting not trying the eclairs but the sandwiches, strawberry tart and jam scone with clotted cream did for me).

The cheesy club (Richmond’s only club I should add) was probably not straight out of the pages of TNWB but the less said about that the better.

Cheesy club aside, this leads me neatly to the lovely Laura’s review of the aforementioned Natural Wedding Book:

I loved this book!

The best thing about it for us was that it inspired us to make as many things as we could for our wedding.

We really wanted to make our own invitations and orders of service and we found lots of ideas – we created a design using our own photos, printed on some lovely grass paper from ElliePoo. We weren’t quite brave enough to try the paper making recipe!

My fiancé’s mum is kindly making our cake and there are lots of lovely suggestions on how to decorate her delicious fruitcake.

Next weekend I’m off to a flower wholesalers armed with my instructions on how to make my bouquet, posies for my flowergirls and buttonholes for my fiancé and his best man. The pointers on which flowers will be in season are very helpful, and there are loads of ideas on how to create flower displays.

Ethically sourced rings and gifts are also really important to us and this book is full of suggestions on both.

We found out about FairGift who do a fair trade wedding list service from the directory which has contact details for lots of things any wedding planning couple will need.

It’s even got recipes for edible face masks… look out hens, I might just go and get a kilo of avocados for the hen weekend!*

Get your copy of The Natural Wedding Book

The Natural Wedding Book is available to buy at £12.99 (RRP £19.99) from sawdays.co.uk

If you entered our competition to win a copy, check our upcoming April newsletter to find out if you’re one of the lucky ones!

What next?

• Talk to other brides and grooms in the Ethical Weddings Forum
• Sign up for our Ethical Weddings monthly newsletter

Katie

*She didn’t – thankfully!

LOVE Productions is looking for young couples who are interested in taking a voyage of discovery with their partner – an experience designed to give their marriage a better chance of lasting the course.

You should be planning to get married in the next 12 months and be willing to explore your relationship with your partner.

Open your heart

You will need to be open with one another about what you want from your life together – your strengths and weaknesses as a couple. Every relationship has its problems and every couple have their issues – wouldn’t you want to try and make your relationship the best it can be before you take the plunge?

Find out more

If you’re interested in taking part or just want to find out more in a confidential chat, then please email Sarah at sarah.pickering@lovewest.co.uk or call 0117 906 4350

Katie

The couple: Clare Josa & Peter Briant
Wedding date: 25 September 2010
Venue and location: Village wedding, near Fordingbridge (Hampshire, UK)
Budget: Haven’t got a clue… Will let you know afterwards…

What inspired you to have an ethical wedding?
We’re both passionate about living in harmony with the planet. Our everyday life choices are based around organic, seasonal, locally-grown food and ethically-produced products. So having an ethical, eco-wedding was the only authentic option.

What has been the most difficult bit so far?
Finding suppliers who don’t think we’re cranks – or “embellish” to get the business! We’re still on a learning curve, so watch this space.

What has been the most fun bit?
Planning all the extra touches we can do ourselves, to add love and light to the wedding experience for our guests.

What would be your 5 top tips for brides and grooms planning an ethical wedding?

1. Be clear about your reasons – if you know your “why”, it makes choices easier.
2. Set realistic boundaries. Know what you will compromise on and what is non-negotiable.
3. Don’t preach to suppliers. If they’re not yet on board with the ethical idea, they’re much more likely to be open to going eco if you’re happy and enthusiastic, than if they feel judged or criticised. And if they can’t do what you’re looking for, you don’t have to work with them.
4. Ask questions. It’s amazing how often high-environmental-impact things are done at weddings because “that’s the way it’s always been done”. Asking helpful questions can often open up alternatives.
5. Enjoy it! It can be so much fun, planning your big day. If you notice you’re getting too stressed, then it’s time to sit down with your other-half-to-be and review your priorities – are they realistic? Could you delegate / ask others for help? Could you simplify things?

Clare is the founder of Beyond Alchemy.

Even though our posts aren’t coming quite as thick and fast as they once did – the inevitable result of new small child-shaped duties and related sleep deprivation – they liked the mix of real life ethical wedding stories and issue updates (the latest on conflict diamonds for example).

If you’re planning your ethical and green wedding at this very moment why not become an EW blogger and share your experiences? Then when you hit an ethical wedding dilemma you’ve an audience of brides and grooms on tap ready to help you out. Drop us an email to get involved.

A new ethical bride will be joining us very soon… watch this space.

And thanks again to You & Your Wedding for the blog love!

Katie