Pity the poor bride who relies on such lists to create the perfect big day – especially if she starts planning a year in advance as most do.

Picture it: you’ve just had your dressmaker remove the sleeves from your bespoke wedding gown and make a few strategic cuts to showcase that cleavage when the next wedding mag you pick up tells you that ‘coy is in’ for 2012 and lace sleeves (a la Kate Middleton) a must.

So for those of you who are fed up of fickle fashions and just want this special day to be your day not a vision from Vogue, here is Ethical Weddings’ (completely subjective) list of what’s always hot in weddings:

Warning: This is written in the style of a ‘what’s in, what’s out’ list – normal service will be resumed for the next post!

1. Feeling special but feeling comfortable

We’re in raptures over the tailored, cream suit for today’s bride, but also loving the dramatic, red flamencoesque swishing skirts, and the traditional A-line shape that flatters the hips, and the mountainous meringue that shouts “Hey hubby, I’m here!”.

Essentially, we’re swooning over any shape, size or style that makes us feel gorgeous, happy and best of all, comfortable – ourselves but on a good day (as somebody said).

2. Vintage weddings – something old?

We’ve heard that vintage is old hat (well, it would be, wouldn’t it?) but we’re not ready to give it up that easily.

We don’t have to ram it down our guests’ throats (those 1920s feathers can tickle) but we adore the idea that our wedding has a history – that our rings celebrated love in centuries past, our stylish fascinator fascinated another blushing bride, our charity shop china has adorned countless wedding tables and will adorn countless more.

And of course we’re completely ravished by the ‘reuse, recycle’ philosophy that comes with the whole vintage shebang.

If you think vintage is still in, get your fix at one of the many vintage wedding fairs this year.

3. Not breaking the bank

We’re obviously head over heels about weddings but we’re also holding on tight to a tiny seed of common sense that says “It’s just one day”.

We’re poring over our sexy spreadsheets, borrowing as much wedding paraphernalia as we can, dabbling in a bit of crafty DIY for our table decorations and just doing our bestest to keep our white wedding in the black.

Our hard work will pay off when we’re cosied up on the sofa with our other half watching telly – rather than watching the bailiffs cart it off.

4. Loving and giving

We’re sharing this one with The Wedding Channel who flagged it up on their 2012 hot list: charity gift registries are in, reckless registries are out.

And we’re keeping it! We say charity gift lists are here to stay – if our houses are cluttered to bursting, why not make the most of our guests’ giving instincts to benefit a good cause?

5. Saying thank you (the Anti-Bridezilla)

We’re suppressing the desire to shout “It’s all about me, me, me” and instead being grateful to our nearest and dearest for their support and friendship not just on this day but over the years.

If they offer their talents, their cast-offs or their hard-earned cash to help us make our celebration that bit more special we’re accepting graciously or – if absolutely impossible to do so – declining with the utmost delicacy that leaves relationships intact and hearts warmed.

6. Getting personal

We’re reading the wedding rule book then hurling it out of the nearest window.

We’re looking to our own lives as we choose poems and vows that mean something to us, not the masses. We invite the friends and family we want (not the ones we’re supposed to) and in the way we want – by phone, by email, by smoke signal.

We’re having a go at making our own cake, dress or bouquet and cherishing the personal imperfect over the professional and immaculate.

Or maybe we’re turning up in our jeans and t-shirt with just our loyal dog as a witness – it’s our wedding and we’ll do it our way.

7. Marrying the one we love

We’re absolutely in love and we want to get married to celebrate that, tell the world and make that commitment to each other.

The rest doesn’t really matter.

Katie

What next?

• Sign up to our Ethical Weddings newsletter
• Follow us on Twitter @ethicalweddings

Ethical, eco or green wedding fairs are still sprouting up here and there around the country and we really hope you’ll go along and support them so that we have more in years to come.

The real success story for 2012 though has to be the vintage wedding fair – whether you’re based north, south, east or west there should be a vintage wedding show near you.  And at Ethical Weddings we love vintage (when it’s properly done) – giving old stuff (‘Something old…’) a new life helps to keep your carbon footprint up the aisle nice and low.  If you’re planning to go vintage for your wedding, do tell as we’re planning some more articles on this topic soon.

Take a look at the vintage, eco and alternative wedding fairs in 2012 here

If you know of one that we’ve missed, let us know and we’ll add it to the list.

Have fun at the (wedding) fair!

Katie

What next?

• Sign up to our Ethical Weddings newsletter
• Follow us on Twitter @ethicalweddings

She will be bringing to The Southbank recycled and eco-friendly design, locally made products, organic bodycare and lots more.

For the eco bride, this is a great chance to kit you and your bridesmaids out with some top, upcycled accessories and pamper yourselves with organic skincare from Ruby Red.

Alternatively, swoon with your husband-to-be over stylish but planet-friendly homewares to feather your newly-wed nest.

Out in the Vintage Village you’ll find some of the UK’s top recycling design talents such as Plastic Seconds who create witty jewellery from reclaimed plastics including sushi soy bottles and vitamin pot lids.

Then there will be the locally-made contingent consisting of printmakers Coffee and Pie, with their charming eco-friendly prints of some of London’s best places to live, eat and drink.

East London collective Hazel Stark, Sam Wingate & James Brown, working with traditional print techniques create contemporary homewares with a nod to British design heritage.

• When: Friday 29 July at 10:00 – Sunday 31 July at 20:00
• Where: Southbank, London
• How much: From £60 a day

See Vintage Visitor Information

Find out about all of this and more on the Upcycled Market Facebook page.

Katie

If running Ethical Weddings has taught us anything, it’s that when one bride asks a question, many more are thinking it so here is our answer for all brides who love to wear pre-loved.

Ethical Weddings Directory

Among our Ethical Weddings suppliers, Swoon Wedding Gowns and Oxfam Bridal both have great secondhand wedding dresses.

Charity shop chic

It’s also worth letting your local charity shops know that you’re on the lookout for a secondhand dress (size, style, price range and so on) so that they can get in touch if something suitable comes in.

Here is a selection of UK charity shops with bridalwear departments.

Ebay bridalwear

Other brides have turned to ebay for their dress – see these stories that all feature ebay wedding dresses:

A very vintage wedding

Vintage wedding dresses are another stylish option.

This Q&A mentions The Vintage Wedding Dress Company in London

And you could also take a look at this guide to tracking down the perfect vintage wedding gown.

We hope these tips help you find the secondhand wedding dress of your dreams.  Maybe you could even pass it on again after the big day?

What next?

• Talk to other brides and grooms in the Ethical Weddings Forum
• Sign up for our Ethical Weddings monthly newsletter

Katie

Ali Cook and Katie Daniels, the guys behind Bristol Vintage (vintage crockery & prop hire and events company) are using their ten years’ experience organising boutique events, weddings, parties and film premieres (as well as drawing on a life-long love of all things vintage) to put on a show that caters to the retro rather than contemporary couple.

After all, there’s no better time than a recession to indulge in some serious nostalgia.

Katie got married a couple of years ago and Ali over 10 years ago, but they both came across the same problem – most wedding fairs are geared towards the modern bride.

They know there is a fantastic vintage crowd in the South West who aren’t getting what they want from the standard wedding fairs, so they hope this one will tick all the vintage hat boxes.

Whether you want the full vintage wedding from veil to buttonhole or are just in need of inspiration, the Vintage Wedding Fair’s fabulous exhibitors should help you find it here.

• What: Bristol Vintage Wedding Fair
• When: Sunday 20 March 2011
• Where: Clifton Pavilion, Bristol Zoo Gardens
• How much: FREE
• More info: www.bristolvintageweddingfair.blogspot.com (opens in new window)

Katie

What have we got for you this month?

• a DIY wedding in Denmark
• a tasty Suffolk wedding celebrating local produce
• a special offer from new Ethical Weddings supplier, green wedding venue Penrhos Court in Herefordshire
• quirky charm from new Ethical Weddings supplier, Vintage Tableware

If it hasn’t already popped into your inbox, read our September newsletter here.

Happy planning!

Katie

Name: Ruth Singer
Location: Leicester, Midlands

Tell us a bit about yourself and your business
I’m a designer-maker specialising in working with eco and recycled fabrics. I mainly create bespoke fabrics for interiors, but also run a small bridal accessories business because I enjoy it so much.

I have been sewing since childhood and have always loved making clothes, bags, scarves, cushions and corsages for myself and my friends.

In 2005 I decided to set up in business designing and making for a living, after several years of working in museums. And I am having a great time!

I have exhibited all over the UK including at some very prestigious shows. My work has also been shown in New York Design Week in 2007 and I have had my work published in several national newspapers and magazines including the Guardian and Elle Decoration.

I have recently finished writing my first book, ‘Sew It Up: a modern manual of practical and decorative sewing techniques’ which is out in October.

My second is in progress now and is all about sewing in a more green way by recycling and using organic fabrics without sacrificing style.

What or who inspires you?
Since I was tiny I have loved clothes, visiting costume museums with my nose pressed up to the glass admiring 18th and 19th century dresses.

I was lucky enough to work in museums for several years and did a lot of independent study of textile history and now my work is almost entirely inspired by old sewing techniques and the work of early couture designers which I have studied, tweaked and developed into my own style.

What do you enjoy most about running your business?
Sewing all day listening to Radio 4 is about perfect for me!

I love designing and making new things all the time, so bespoke bridalwear and accessories is a lot of fun to do.

What is the most challenging aspect of your work?
Doing anything other than just designing and sewing all day! There is so much more to a designer’s work than just designing and it really gets in the way. I don’t much enjoy marketing, particularly PR work – it’s hard to sell yourself all the time!

How do you see the wedding industry changing over the next five years (if at all)?
I think the ethical weddings market is growing, which is fantastic to see. I also think, and indeed hope, that there will be a growing interest in recycling wedding clothes and customising vintage and second hand dresses.

It can be a very wasteful industry – as you all know! – so anything I can do to stop the waste by giving an old frock a new lease of life is a good thing!

Find out more about Ruth Singer Bridal – eco & recycled bridal accessories