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I always expected finding my perfect dress would be a nightmare. I’m very picky about clothes, so much so I’ve ended up totally unable to dress myself and with an unbelievably small wardrobe.

I just… I just don’t like anything in any of the shops. And I’ve been like this for years. Bring back the nineties please. I can do flares and hoodies. Puffball skirts? Not so much.

What I didn’t expect when I went dress shopping was for everything to look so incredible (except for the long flowing Grecian affair, I think you have to be a bit taller than 5 foot to pull that off), and to love all of them as well.

Two weeks ago I went to Oxfam Bridal in Eastbourne. It’s an amazing little place with more dresses than you can shake a bouquet at. Most of them are end of line or catwalk models, so have never been worn before and would otherwise be destined for the bin.

I trooped down there with two of my girly friends and a terrible sense of foreboding. I walked in being all “I want something very plain and simple please” and within five minutes was “…and I wanted beading, and the tiara and the flowers and a veil and some shoes and…”

I think I tried on everything in the shop, and walked out with the first dress I tried on. It’s amazing, so pretty, and it fits perfectly and is like nothing I’ve seen in any of the shops.

But the best thing about it? Apart from the knock down price (£300!), it came with a letter from the woman who donated it. She explained how she found it, how much she loved it and how she hopes the person who wears it next loves it as much. She asks that the new bride also donates it back to Oxfam with a letter to carry on the story. How can you not fall in love with that?

But - of course there is a but - I went to all the lovely little boutique shops in Brighton yesterday with my mum. Since I got the first dress I saw, I felt like I had to have a look around just to check I got it right.

We had an excellent girly day, and I fell in love with a huge, sparkly, beaded meringue in one shop, and then in another put on a dress that just. made. me. go. wow.

And there’s the rub. If money and conscience were no option, I would have the brand new, flown in from China, £1,700 designer dress that is the most breathtaking thing I’ve ever seen.

But they are, and I just can’t see I would be happy spending our wedding day wearing it when I know there is another dress out there with a very different story.

I know for many reasons I have to pick the Oxfam dress. But holy crap, being ethical has never felt like such a sacrifice. Curse you, Ian Stuart!

Ask other brides for tips on your ethical wedding dress dilemmas in the Ethical Weddings Forum!