We had a very civilised tea party in the afternoon at my bridesmaid Jacqui’s house and then a naughty drag queen cabaret followed by Chinese food in Soho.

What was even more lovely is how supportive my friends are of my diet and lifestyle choices. Not many people understand about being a raw vegan, but my friends are used to it now, and everyone chipped in to make it a gorgeous and healthy tea party.

We had a raw chocolate mousse cake specially made by Charlie’s Raw Treats, as well as her brownies, figgy bites, lemon pockets and almond cookies.

My friend Blanka who writes Gracefully Raw made raw flax and vegetable crackers and the most amazing lemon coconut macaroons!

My writer friend John Tyson, even made a raw vegan chocolate mud cake (he’s not even raw – he googled it – how sweet!).

My favourite raw food mentor Karen Knowler once told me that champagne is raw too and so I had a LOT of that!

Of course there were lots of other non-raw goodies and I ate them all – gorgeous muffins, meringue (my favourite!), cute little sandwiches, gorgeous potato salad! Washed down with lots of Pimms of course!

Denise Duffield-Thomas  is the creator of Raw Brides – a website for savvy brides-to-be who want to look amazing for their big day and beyond. You can find out more at www.rawbrides.com and download a free ebook!

Why an ethical wedding?

We aren’t big consumers in our personal lives, so we didn’t want a wedding that created a huge carbon footprint. We’re mindful of most of the issues, and it seemed natural to us to question a lot of the traditional aspects of weddings that create so much unnecessary waste and expenditure.

What was the most difficult bit?

The biggest difficulty was that most of my family live in Australia, but we live in London and most of our friends live here too.  A way around all our family flying over here is that we have two weddings – one in the UK and one in Australia. That obviously increased the budget and our carbon footprint!

What were the best bits?

Pre-loved jewellery
My engagement ring came from Gray’s Antique Market in Bond St, and it’s a beautiful 1920s platinum ring. Mark bought me some antique pearls from the same place as a wedding present and Mark’s ring was found in an antique store as well – a very romantic platinum band with engraved flowers all around it.

My wedding ring is a 1930s platinum eternity band from a second hand dealer in Portobello Market, and I found my rhinestone earrings in another shop in the market. We got all of our rings engraved with our wedding and engagement dates, but we just loved that they were pre-loved – we think it’s incredibly romantic and also we’re thrilled with the classic designs.

The best presents EVER
Because we were travelling through Asia on the way to our Australian wedding, we asked our guests to buy us intangible presents. They could choose to buy us a vegan dinner on our trip, an experience like a yoga class, or they could donate to a local project, like an orphanage in Bali. One friend even bought us a gift voucher to Kiva – so we could lend to an entrepreneur in a developing country.

The honeymoon
On our honeymoon we stayed in small eco resorts, family run hotels, yoga retreats and an awesome hotel in Singapore that served salads for breakfast.  Part of our honeymoon was even spent doing a fasting retreat in a yoga centre!

The lovely venue
We found a gorgeous old Tudor house and barn which is run by an education trust that puts on gardening workshops for children and young offenders.

We got married in the barn and then because of our beautiful summer’s day we had most of the afternoon reception outdoors, in the Tudor garden and orchards, playing cricket and having picnics on the grass. We hardly needed any decorations because the barn already had fairy lights and a huge vaulted wooden ceiling. Outside there were lovely fruit orchards and hedges, so we just got a few flowers to decorate tables for the evening.

Our venue in Australia was the local surf club, so we got “married” again on the beach – no decorations needed.  We just used green apples in fish bowls with some green foliage on the tables with a few flowers.

A summer picnic
During the day, the vegans and raw foodists had fresh fruit and raw vegan chocolate brownies, made by Charlie’s Raw Treats.

We found a local brewery, which supplied biodegradable cases of beer as well as zero-carbon water from Belu (we couldn’t have tap water at the venue). Everything else was recycled afterwards.

In the evening, while the carnivores had locally-grown lamb and vegetables, the veggies, vegans and raw foodists had a fabulous creation of raw lasagne (from a Russell James recipe), and then a specially made dessert of raw chocolate brownie, raw lemon cheesecake and berries.

A nice side effect
Although we were both interested in green issues before we got married, going on a raw vegan diet had a welcome side effect for both of us. I lost over 7kgs (two dress sizes) just by cutting out dairy and meat, and Mark lost a bunch of weight too. By the time the wedding came around, we felt so much healthier and had so much more energy while we were travelling on our honeymoon.

Fashion
I know it doesn’t sound very eco but I had more than one dress… hear me out!
I got a big traditional dress second-hand off EBay, and a slinkier dress to wear later and to take to Australia. Both of these dresses have been sold again to Ebay, so hopefully someone else will wear them and love them too. I made my own headpiece, and found an antique paper umbrella from Greenwich markets.

We recycled the bridesmaids’ dresses from the first wedding for the second one in the UK. Thank god they worked on all four girls!

How did it go on the day?

It was just such a chilled day, and it was so fab having my mum, little brother and uncle over from Australia. Thank god the weather was good. It’s always a gamble in the UK, even in summer. We were panicking because we didn’t really have a plan B – we would have all had to be jammed into the barn.

The sun meant that we could play around in the sunshine, and everyone was relaxed and happy. The live local jazz band really added to the day too.

The venue provided an archery range, we had giant Jenga, and a big cricket game broke out between the Aussies and the Brits. All in all, it wasn’t the most expensive or complicated wedding – but it was truly spectacular!

Getting married on the beach at the Australian wedding was amazing, we could even see whales on the horizon. The funniest thing was at the end of the night – we reused the apple decorations to play a game with all the guests.

Top tips for an ethical and green wedding

• Don’t beat yourself up
  Some things will feel easy to make eco – and others will feel hard. Do the best you can do, but don’t worry if you don’t get absolutely everything right. I felt like I had to compromise on some things to keep my groom happy, but I was happy with most of the actions we took.
• Minimise the unimportant
  Ignore the things like party favours on tables (nobody will miss them) or cake boxes (we had just ten just in case). If you are printing programmes or menus, not everyone needs a copy. As long as there is good food and drink – people don’t care about anything else!
• Go secondhand
  There are so many gorgeous wedding dresses on EBay that have been worn only for a couple of days. You can find bridesmaids dresses, shoes, and all sorts of decorations that other more zealous brides feel like they couldn’t do without. You can benefit!
  Secondhand jewellery is also extremely romantic and if you go for a classic design, it will look brand new.
• Don’t be afraid to ask!
  When we first met our caterer, both of us were carnivores – by the time our taste testing rolled around Mark was mostly vegetarian and I was a raw vegan foodist! I was embarrassed at first to ask to change the menu to include a raw option – even though we were paying for it (and I used to be an event planner!). The caterer was totally fine with it, and very intrigued about making a raw lasagne.
• Finally – make it fun and totally YOUR DAY
  Don’t worry about what everyone else thinks you “should” have – and make it as personal as you want. There aren’t any rules anymore!

About Denise
Denise is the creator of Raw Brides – a website for women who want to look fabulous for their big day and beyond by eating a natural, whole foods diet and changing their mindset about how they feel about their bodies. You can find out more and also download a free ebook from www.rawbrides.com

For green couples looking to wed in London, this is a chance to meet the RSA’s team and their suppliers, and explore this beautiful Georgian house, taking in the grandeur of the Great Room or the intimacy of the Vaults – the perfect setting for a candlelit ceremony.

It’s also an opportunity to ask about their excellent green but budget-friendly wedding packages for 2010.

• When: Sunday 28 February, 11am – 3pm
• Where: RSA House, 8 John Adam Street, London, WC2N 6EZ
• How much: FREE!

Have a fun day!

Katie

But what to pop it with? And what to tie the knot with once it’s been popped? How can we find engagement and wedding rings that share the love a little?

Well we can start by ditching the blood diamonds. It’s a few years now since the practice of selling diamonds to fund conflicts against legitimate governments went under the spotlight in the film ‘Blood Diamond’ (starring Leonardo Di Caprio).

But while the Kimberley Process (set up to stamp out blood or conflict diamonds as they are also known) has made some progress it isn’t there yet – so we as consumers need to keep asking questions.

Under the Kimberley Process Certification Scheme jewellers should be able to show us a certificate stating that their diamonds are ‘conflict free’. It’s not foolproof but it helps and shows the industry that this is an important issue for us – their customers.

Then it’s time to dig a bit further – into the environmental and social impacts of the mining of diamonds and the other precious stones and metals that make up our rings. What can the jeweller tell us about the working conditions of those who mined them?

Are they paid a fair wage? And what about how the mine is run? Is the environment protected as much as possible – for example by mining without the use of cyanide, mercury or arsenic? Read more about the impacts of mining and what we need to know when choosing our rings.

On the other hand we could avoid the mining issue altogether and go for a ring made from recycled metals or even wood, perhaps sporting a lab-grown diamond, or we could re-use and recycle with a pre-loved vintage ring or family heirloom.

Ethical jewellers – and some great special offers

To save lots of searching for jewellers doing the right thing, and a bit of hard-earned cash with some great special offers, here’s a rundown of our Ethical Weddings jewellery designers.

Leblas’s wedding rings, engagement rings and bridal jewellery are all crafted from recycled gold and platinum and traceable diamonds and precious stones.

Valentine’s Special Offer: Buy one wedding ring and get the second wedding ring half price until 15 March 2010. Just call on +44 (0)20 7730 3418 and quote “ethical weddings“.

Fifi Bijoux use fairly traded, ethically mined gold and gems from socially, environmentally responsible mines. The jewellery is made here in the UK by master goldsmiths.

Valentine’s Special Offer: Get a £20 voucher to spend with Fifi Bijoux when you quote the code ‘ETHICAL VALENTINES’. Offer ends 21 March 2010.

Chocolate Couture support the Kimberley Process and the use of conflict-free diamonds. Their gemstone supplier has signed up to their Ethical Policy and they can source Canadian diamonds on request. Their handcrafted wedding bands are made in their workshop in the UK.

Valentine’s Special Offer: 2 for 1 on recycled 9 carat gold Ethical Bond wedding rings (3mm width) £295.00 pair

Diamond Culture bypass the mining process by offering laboratory-grown diamonds that are not simulants or imitations but chemically, physically and optically identical to mined diamonds.

Valentine’s Special Offer:
Diamond Culture Collection: 20% off Justine, Olivia and Danila engagement rings plus option to replace the featured diamond by any stone from their loose diamonds collection.
Danielle Goffa Collection: 20% off all rings
Loose Diamonds Collection: 20% off Sol22, Sol24, Sold28, Sol26 and Sol18 loose diamonds. 10% off the rest of the collection.

To claim your discount email victor@diamondculture.be quoting: “Ethical Weddings Valentine Special Offer”. Offer ends 28 February 2010

EcoChic showcase a growing range of ethical jewellery – including gorgeous wedding and engagement rings – from inspirational designers and are dedicated to the principles of fair trade and sustainable living.

Valentine’s Special Offer: Win ethical Oria Jewellery by entering EcoChic’s competition

Cred Jewellery are proud to be the original ethical luxury jewellers. Cred have spent the last 10 years pioneering a responsible supply chain so customers can buy products that marry ethics and aesthetics.

They are compliant with the Kimberley Process but also plan to develop a fair trade process for precious stones.

Greg Valerio who founded Cred is spearheading a campaign to help the native Inuit Greenlanders fight for their rights to prospect for the ruby through small-scale, responsible mining just as their ancestors have done for centuries. Read more about the campaign Free Greenland Ruby

Brilliant Earth bring you conflict-free diamonds from Canada, ethical origin sapphires, and eco-friendly gold, platinum and sterling silver. They are dedicated to ensuring that every single gemstone is mined, cut, and finished in a socially and ethically responsible manner so you can rest assured your engagement or wedding ring is a true symbol of love.

Brilliant Earth explore the implications of our ring choices in this feature which tells us how to ‘Make love not war on Valentine’s Day’

Ingle & Rhode only buy diamonds guaranteed to be conflict-free and their diamond cutters and polishers enjoy good working conditions.

Their gold is fairly traded and mined without the use of cyanide or mercury.

Jane Runchman Jewellery designs and makes beautiful and elegant engagement rings and wedding rings from recycled gold and platinum.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Katie

Peter smelts aluminium as a hobby but it was Andrea who came up with the idea of collecting and recycling 400,000 cans – the number they would need to pay for their $3,500-$4,000 medieval-style wedding.

They say:

…even simple weddings cost more than a few dollars. We don’t really have much extra cash sitting around, since we’re just starting out. Add that to the fact that environmental responsibility plays a big part in our lives, and we hatched the crazy plan. Pay for the wedding – with recycling. Aluminum recycling is one of the most sustainable and useful forms of recycling. We’re shooting for 400,000 aluminum cans – approximately 5 tons of empty cans.
 

Based in Spokane in the state of Washington, the couple have harnessed the power of the world wide web via Facebook, Twitter and their own weddingcans.com website to set in motion a surge in can-recycling as green romantics show their support for this very sustainable celebration.

In just a few weeks they’ve collected over 90,000 cans (25,781 actual cans and 66,571 in the cash equivalent to the recycled cans, via the PayPal account set up on their site) but still have a fair way to go to reach their 400,000 target by 31 July when they plan to wed.

If you feel inspired to help them on their way in this romantic recycling quest, take a look at weddingcans.com where you can find out more about their project, how many cans they’ve collected so far and – most importantly – where to send your cans.

Good luck guys!

Katie

We’re kicking off the New Year with a special offer on ice of a different sort – the kind you might find sparkling on your finger. 

Yep, until the end of January ethical jewellery supplier, Leblas has an exclusive offer for visitors to ethicalweddings.com with 30% off all its engagement rings and wedding rings when you quote “ethicalweddings“.  Perfect for that Valentine’s Day proposal or 2010 wedding.

And that’s not all, complete your look with 10% off ethical wedding accessories from earrings to necklaces from Suffolk-based contemporary jewellery designer, Karina Anne.  Just quote EW10 when placing your order.

Meanwhile, to find out a bit more about Leblas and what makes them tick, read our interview with founder, Clare Winfield below.

Your name: Clare Winfield
Business name: Leblas jewellery
Location: Sloane Street – London

Tell us a bit about yourself and your business
Leblas jewellery believes that a business can be culturally and socially responsibly which is why we work with skilled artisans to revive skills that are becoming a fast disappearing art while at the same time working with ethical materials.

What or who inspires you?
Arabel and Clare are inspired by Lorenzo, our filigree artisan who finds enormous joy that his work is being celebrated and recognised in London, as well as in his village in Spain. He is a third generation artisan and his passion and care for his work after 40 years of making is awe-inspiring.

What do you enjoy most about running your business?
Watching customers’ faces when they fall in love with a piece of jewellery and you hand over the box. Makes you feel warm and fuzzy!

What is the most challenging aspect?
Trying to get the message across to fashion media that not everything has to be disposable. It’s even more difficult in the current climate but we take little steps every day.

What do you feel you bring to an ethical wedding?
We feel we bring unique design. We always add unique design points to make the engagement or wedding rings special to the couple. We want people to look at their jewellery and smile as it brings back memories of their day.

How do you see the wedding industry changing over the next five years (if at all)?
We believe customers will be choosier about how and where they spend their hard earned income and spend less but invest in quality instead of quantity.

Find out more about Leblas – fine jewellery

Happy planning!

Katie

She is very cute and very clever, but it may take a bit of work to get her fully up to speed in the world of ethical and green weddings, so we hope you’ll bear with us if our posts are a little sporadic as we train her up over the next few weeks!

Katie, Jamie & Polly x

download Donnie Darko

Seasonal wedding flowers

The church was beautiful, we found a florist who was a friend of my parents, and who was sympathetic to our green ideas.

She sourced flowers and greenery as seasonally as possible, including some raided from my parents’ garden the previous day (!), and also made up some planters of growing flowers and herbs that we took away to keep afterwards.  The results were stunning.

A very personal wedding ceremony

Our church wedding was fantastic too.  As we are both Christians, the spiritual aspect of marriage was really important to us, so getting married in church was particularly special.

The service was wonderful – our friend and university chaplain led the service so he was able to tailor it to us quite a lot (his address to the congregation after the marriage involved Bagpuss!) – and as there is quite a lot of choice about what wording to use for the marriage service, and which readings (Bible or not) and music to use, the whole thing felt very personal.

We entered the church to the Beatles’ ‘Here comes the sun’ in the end, very happy! We involved friends and family in leading the readings, prayers and music too, which was lovely.  We exchanged wedding rings from Cred (who really impressed us), and our little ‘engagement ring’ trees made it along to the church too as decorations.  And we made our own service sheets (using Evolve recycled printer paper), including our story in them.

Snap happy guests

After the ceremony we did a big photo session in the pretty churchyard, with my keen amateur photographer uncle doing the ‘posed’ photos, and the rest of our photos taken by the guests who then posted their digital photos on to us.

It worked out really well, despite what you hear about how you must get in a professional.  With so many people doing your photos you are bound to have a fantastic selection of shots, and they covered different groups of guests, as well as getting some fantastic informal pics to add to the posed ones.

Homemade confetti

We had made our own confetti the previous summer, by drying rose petals in the oven and storing them in warm, dark and dry boxes. We decorated the boxes we stored it in with some shiny red paper from Oxfam (again – they did well out of us!) to make pretty serving boxes to pass round for guests to pick out handfuls from.  And it was so beautiful, the colours were preserved really well.

The cherry tree in the churchyard decided to add to our confetti and showered us with blossom as soon as we stepped out of the church, which was VERY cute.  It made a wonderful backdrop to the photos too.

Love,

Helen and Mike

• Should they sell it? If so how and where?
• Should they give it away? Where can it do most good?
• Should they have it re-fashioned into a wearable, everyday dress?
• Or should they stash it away ready for a future descendant with a passion for vintage?

On Ethical Weddings we have bridalwear suppliers who can re-fashion a gown or sell on a pre-loved dress but we wanted to hear from you too.

What did you do or what do you plan to do with your well-loved wedding gown?

Here are a few of the top tips we received:

Denée, Founder of She Just Got Married said:

“Share the Love….save the planet. Sell it to a bride-to-be looking to save on her wedding while allowing the newlywed to recoup a little of her own investment. And why pay to post an ad to sell your gently loved items when there is no charge at “She Just Got Married.”

Anja said:

“I got my David Fielden dress in a sample sale so at fraction of original price (was over 2k!) and has been worn many times by models on the catwalk apparently. Fits me perfectly so no need for alterations – bonus.

It is a a bit unusual in that it’s a short dress in raw silk. I am planning on having it dyed (maybe purple!) along with my shoes, after the wedding so I can wear it again at a posh do etc. I had wanted to get one from Oxfam but I really didn’t like any of the ones they had unfortunately.”

Kristen said:

“Donate your wedding dress to help an African bride have a very special day.  Jireh Women is a Christian organisation which exists to support women living in poverty around the world: www.jirehwomen.org

They’re currently planning on setting up wedding dress hire shops in Kitgum and Kampala in Uganda, which will bring a sustainable income to some of their partners and give Ugandan brides the chance to buy a beautiful dress they can afford. Email carol@jirehwomen.org or tel: 01257 266155 or 07947 456129”

If these tips have inspired you, why not send in your own top tips?

Read more ethical wedding top tips.

Katie

Wedding planning books are hitting the shelves faster than you can say ‘I do’ and we really need the help of our lovely Ethical Weddings readers to work our what’s hot and what’s not.

We’ve got 3 new titles for you to get stuck into – let us know which one takes your fancy and a copy will be on its way to you (we have more copies of some than others so we’ll send them out on a first come, first served basis).

Read more about how to do reviews for Ethical Weddings.

Here are the wedding planning books waiting for your beady reviewer eyes…

‘The Rough Guide to Weddings’ by Ruth Tidball

Out in February 2010, get your hands on a copy in December by reviewing it for Ethical Weddings!

The blurb: ‘The guide is practical and down-to-earth, providing all the advice and information needed to plan a dream wedding day, whether that be a green wedding, a Civil Partnership ceremony, an alternative bash, or a traditional church-and-champagne affair.

From the practicalities of budgets and venue-booking to the emotional curveballs along the way from cold feet to mutineering bridesmaids the guide tries to help the bride and groom pull off the perfect wedding without losing their minds.’

Email us to review this book

‘Miss Manners’ Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding’ by Judith Martin

Out in January 2010, get your review copy of this thorough but humorous examination of wedding etiquette now!

The blurb: ‘In this age of overblown weddings, something essential has been forgotten. Something decent, something dignified, something Miss Manners knows all about: etiquette. In this book, Miss Manners, a.k.a. Judith Martin, aided by her daughter, takes on our culture of commercialized love and with trademark wit tells brides and their cortège what advice to ignore, what “traditions” to skip, and how to achieve the rare, tasteful wedding.

Miss Manners has culled thousands of questions from bewildered grooms, bankrupt parents, bridezillas and bridesmaids covering marital matters large and small—from same sex marriages and melded families, to reply cards and bachelorette parties. Judith and Jacobina Martin navigate the world of weddings with respectful hilarity, helping their “gentle readers” to recognize that etiquette does not have to mean extravagance.’

Email us to review this book

‘Your Beautiful Wedding on Any Budget’ by Todd Outcalt

The blurb: ‘With the average cost of a wedding hovering around $30,000, many couples wind up deep in debt to pay for this big day. But Pastor Todd Outcalt, who has counseled hundreds of couples on how to avoid this strain on a new marriage, shows you another way.

‘Your Beautiful Wedding on Any Budget’ reveals how to craft a debt-free big day, gives you the techniques and strategies to help you enter into marriage with a bigger wallet and lower stress level. Rather focusing on a certain dollar amount, ‘Your Beautiful Wedding on Any Budget’ allows you to design a plan tailored to your financial reality, whatever that may be.’

Email us to review this book

Update: 17 November

I spoke too soon. We have 4 books ready for your review! We have just received a copy of ‘Budget Weddings for Dummies’ by Meg Schneider.

If you don’t mind putting your hand up and admitting you’re not all that when it comes to planning a budget wedding, why not grab a copy of this guide to show you the way down that straight and narrow aisle?

The blurb: ‘In this downturned economy, many couples do not have the finances to spend on a lavish wedding. For those looking to save money, the new Budget Weddings For Dummies provides suggestions on deals, fun insights, and advice on how to plan a stylish wedding for much less than you might think.  Future brides and grooms will learn how to:

• Make and keep a budget
• Get great deals on gowns, tuxes, cakes, invitations, photography, food, and wedding locations
• Infuse creative, economical, and green ideas that emphasize style and elegance
• Find the most economical time of year to hold a wedding
• Negotiate with vendors
• Avoid hidden expenses and add-ons
• Create wedding items like invitations, decorations, favors, and many more

The book is also a valuable resource for parents, friends, and families who may contribute their time and money to the celebration.

Want to know how to spend less on food? Plan an eco-friendly budget wedding? Check out this Cheat Sheet on Dummies.com.

Email us to review this book