ethicalweddings.com

Enough time has passed that I can now talk about wedding venues without that dull, throbbing ache appearing somewhere around my temples. Having only recently moved back to the UK after an 8 year hiatus in Australia, and living many miles from my family home, there was no beautiful building I was just dying to get married in. In fact, as it turned out, there weren’t many venues I’d even contemplate getting married in!

I’ve said it before, but Lachie and I are simple people. We dreamed of a small chapel in a field, with family and nature around us. We hadn’t bargained on England’s foolish marriage laws! In Australia, you can get married anywhere that a celebrant is willing to undertake the ceremony. The list is endless, and friends of ours have married in the most divine small ceremonies under rainforest canopies. Not so England!

For those who might be new to the wedding game, England allows civil wedding ceremonies in approved buildings only. The rules specify that the building must be fixed, permanent and be usually open to the public. Religious weddings are allowed to be organised directly with the appropriate religious centre, although all but Church of England weddings still require civil paperwork to be completed.

As Lachie is a Catholic, we set off to find that perfect old Catholic chapel, but soon discovered that the Reformation and Henry VIII had left us with little functional choice. Determined not to be married in a Register Office, I went to the internet to find the perfect venue.

Fact: it is very difficult to find a venue that will respect your wishes to be simple and eco-friendly in the North West. I gradually started finding barns which looked wonderful: rustic, simple and honest, but further inspection found the same opulence as the most up-market hotel.. and the same price tag!

Overwrought by more than 50 hours of searching, disappointed by the lack of appropriate venues and upset that England should have such silly laws regarding the union of two people, we spent several nights feeling quite flat and low after the lovely highs of our engagement. Fortunately, a couple of days to remember WHY we were getting married allowed us to see beyond the venue, and reminded us that we were more than just wedding planners!

After a week’s break away from wedding planning, I sat down again to find the right venue. I had a mental list of what we wanted: simple, inexpensive, eco-friendly, ethical and down-to-earth, preferably in Cumbria. Initially happening upon Rheged, an outdoor centre set into a hill near Penrith, we started to hope that maybe it wasn’t a fruitless search. Rheged uses produce supplied by local farmers, and seemed to share some of our ideals, as well as our budget! We drove up there one day to investigate, and although it is truly an exceptional building, it wasn’t quite for us.

We next discovered the Matara Centre. Not quite Cumbria: in fact, the search had taken us to Gloucestershire. However, I was so thrilled by the concept of “total freedom to express their own feelings and beliefs in creating a unique wedding experience without limitations” on its website that I would happily have relocated there. It was, however, so far from home that we simply couldn’t justify the transport and logistics of relocating our wedding down there. Buoyed up once again by a near-success, the search continued.

Browsing through the Ethical Weddings suppliers list one day, I embarked on an internet journey which took me ultimately to Yurtopia. At which point, I fell in love. The natural lines of the yurts drew me in, and their simple, honest structures were like heaven after all those fancy old hotels! We both love eco-friendly buildings, and the low carbon footprint and flexibility of a yurt just makes sense. After a few emails, during which my respect for Yurtopia sky-rocketed, I decided that transporting a yurt all the way up to Cumbria from Brighton just wasn’t viable.

Hurrah for Full Circle, a company offering three yurts in the grounds of Rydal Hall in Cumbria. Speaking to owner Sarah as I booked two yurts for the week after our wedding was refreshing: it’s a family-run business, and they share our aims for a natural existence. I was able to book the ‘honeymoon’ yurt for Lachlan and I, and a second yurt for his family to stay in, as we wanted them to enjoy the week with us.

The yurts and surrounding countryside are just beautiful, and knowing what was in store for us after the wedding cleared my mind and allowed me to finally agree to what had been right for us all along.

We’re getting married in the local register office. Who cares where you are when you say your vows? It’s thirty minutes out of a lifetime together!

With half the battle won, I started searching for organic and vegetarian-friendly caterers. As I have a poor attention span at best, I found myself searching vacantly for local cafes we could visit while we were ‘honeymooning’, and found myself looking at Wilf’s Cafe.  Although they’re not organic, Wilf’s is well-known through outdoorsy circles as a great caterer, with a famous vegetarian chilli. More than that, they use local ingredients where possible and are situated in an old wood mill in the village of Staveley, outside Kendal.

It struck me as an honest, down-to-earth place to get a good feed and enjoy yourself: which is oddly enough just what we wanted! We visited and found ourselves smiling broadly to realise that Wilf’s suited us perfectly.. right down to their request that all venue hirers recycle their waste!

Our search hasn’t been easy: at times we contemplated putting off the wedding until we were back in Australia and free to get married wherever we liked. However, we are both genuinely excited by the places we have found, and feel that ultimately, with your friends and family around you, where you say your vows doesn’t really matter.

Of the entire wedding planning process, this has been the most difficult. I’m sure, though, that over the next few years, it will be easier to find good venues in the North West, and I hope that other couples won’t give up if they find obstacles in their path. It’s worth it!