The Date and the Superstition
Apr 9th, 2008 by Diar
I never thought that being close with this man only for a couple months could lead readiness for a marriage (I was previously an average no-no sayer to marriage life). And I never thought that when the readiness came, I didn’t even get a chance to hear a romantic “Will you marry me?” question (well, he uttered his objective to marry me—casually uttered!—pretty way long before we committed to a relationship, so maybe that’s why he didn’t feel necessarily obliged to pop the ‘magical’ question no more).
Due to the tradition, he came to meet my father to convey his intention to marry me. But in fact, he didn’t get any apportunity to convey it in a ‘formal speech’, since my dad, without warning, brought about the shocking-wedding-plan (as I’ve told before, I was once not into marriage, so of course my family was shocked knowing that I suddenly wanted to get married) talk immediately.
We originally wanted to get married this year, but my family didn’t agree, so we have to respect what they want as well. Still, the date is a problem. We haven’t fixed the date of the wedding, as my dad intends to discuss the ‘good date’ with some elderly family members in my hometown (Kuningan, West Java) first. I do respect my family, but discussing a good date of a wedding in most of Indonesian families means doing some ’superstition rituals’ that I don’t even know the names. That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t want any superstitious stuff to be involved in my wedding—it isn’t allowed in my religion as well.
Well, there are some worries that I feel, frankly speaking: (1) my future husband and I have come up with late April 2009 (that has been compromised on my brother’s coming home to Pontianak), but when I told this to my dad, he didn’t take the idea seriously; (2) even until now, to my observation, my dad hasn’t done anything on the good date searching—guess he hasn’t contacted these mysterious elderly people either (hopefully never, so that I won’t have to the deal with any sort of superstition).
FYI, my man and I thought out of April 24th, 2009. April 22nd is, you all must already know, Earth Day (and my birthday—the 25th in 2009), so I think it’d be special to have an eco-wedding close to the special ‘eco-day’ (and close to my birthday). But we choose the 24th since it falls on Friday. In my religion, without underestimating other days on a week, Friday is a ‘good’ day in which God gives more blessings than on any other days—and this ain’t superstition at all. So you get the point on the date selection, I suppose.
It has been quite a while I didn’t have a wedding chat with my dad, so I guess Persuasion 101 is still badly needed. Anyway, the most probable solution on fixing the date is to make both of families (from my and my future husband’s sides) meet and have a further talk on that (plan to do that on mid 2008).
PS: our planning an environmentally-friendly wedding IS also a problem for my family (why is it only my family that’s always ‘against’ us?). But I’ll talk about that later.