ethicalweddings.com

At this time of year I get swamped with emails telling me what’s hot and what’s not in the world of weddings.

Pity the poor bride who relies on such lists to create the perfect big day – especially if she starts planning a year in advance as most do.

Picture it: you’ve just had your dressmaker remove the sleeves from your bespoke wedding gown and make a few strategic cuts to showcase that cleavage when the next wedding mag you pick up tells you that ‘coy is in’ for 2012 and lace sleeves (a la Kate Middleton) a must.

So for those of you who are fed up of fickle fashions and just want this special day to be your day not a vision from Vogue, here is Ethical Weddings’ (completely subjective) list of what’s always hot in weddings:

Warning: This is written in the style of a ‘what’s in, what’s out’ list – normal service will be resumed for the next post!

1. Feeling special but feeling comfortable

We’re in raptures over the tailored, cream suit for today’s bride, but also loving the dramatic, red flamencoesque swishing skirts, and the traditional A-line shape that flatters the hips, and the mountainous meringue that shouts “Hey hubby, I’m here!”.

Essentially, we’re swooning over any shape, size or style that makes us feel gorgeous, happy and best of all, comfortable – ourselves but on a good day (as somebody said).

2. Vintage weddings – something old?

We’ve heard that vintage is old hat (well, it would be, wouldn’t it?) but we’re not ready to give it up that easily.

We don’t have to ram it down our guests’ throats (those 1920s feathers can tickle) but we adore the idea that our wedding has a history – that our rings celebrated love in centuries past, our stylish fascinator fascinated another blushing bride, our charity shop china has adorned countless wedding tables and will adorn countless more.

And of course we’re completely ravished by the ‘reuse, recycle’ philosophy that comes with the whole vintage shebang.

If you think vintage is still in, get your fix at one of the many vintage wedding fairs this year.

3. Not breaking the bank

We’re obviously head over heels about weddings but we’re also holding on tight to a tiny seed of common sense that says “It’s just one day”.

We’re poring over our sexy spreadsheets, borrowing as much wedding paraphernalia as we can, dabbling in a bit of crafty DIY for our table decorations and just doing our bestest to keep our white wedding in the black.

Our hard work will pay off when we’re cosied up on the sofa with our other half watching telly – rather than watching the bailiffs cart it off.

4. Loving and giving

We’re sharing this one with The Wedding Channel who flagged it up on their 2012 hot list: charity gift registries are in, reckless registries are out.

And we’re keeping it! We say charity gift lists are here to stay – if our houses are cluttered to bursting, why not make the most of our guests’ giving instincts to benefit a good cause?

5. Saying thank you (the Anti-Bridezilla)

We’re suppressing the desire to shout “It’s all about me, me, me” and instead being grateful to our nearest and dearest for their support and friendship not just on this day but over the years.

If they offer their talents, their cast-offs or their hard-earned cash to help us make our celebration that bit more special we’re accepting graciously or – if absolutely impossible to do so – declining with the utmost delicacy that leaves relationships intact and hearts warmed.

6. Getting personal

We’re reading the wedding rule book then hurling it out of the nearest window.

We’re looking to our own lives as we choose poems and vows that mean something to us, not the masses. We invite the friends and family we want (not the ones we’re supposed to) and in the way we want – by phone, by email, by smoke signal.

We’re having a go at making our own cake, dress or bouquet and cherishing the personal imperfect over the professional and immaculate.

Or maybe we’re turning up in our jeans and t-shirt with just our loyal dog as a witness – it’s our wedding and we’ll do it our way.

7. Marrying the one we love

We’re absolutely in love and we want to get married to celebrate that, tell the world and make that commitment to each other.

The rest doesn’t really matter.

Katie

What next?

• Sign up to our Ethical Weddings newsletter
• Follow us on Twitter @ethicalweddings