The “H” Word
Aug 4th, 2007 by Sharon
Recently I was reading a forum on another wedding site, wherein someone was criticizing her co-worker’s “supposed” green wedding, pointing out that their ceremony and reception site were over an hour’s drive away from each other. Naturally, this bride was called what I’ve come to find is the dreaded “H” word in environmentalism: “hypocrite.”
I agree that the required travel isn’t particularly earth-friendly. But as someone doing her best to plan a green wedding, herself, I take a bit of offense when people are called out on such things. Wedding planning is such a delicate balancing act. You’re often restricted by your region, budget, family pressure, and more.
Perhaps this bride had a family church that was important to her, but wasn’t near any reception sites. Maybe she’s loading everyone up in a big bus to transport them or purchasing carbon offset credits. Or maybe she doesn’t need to make excuses because she’s working hard to minimize the impact in other areas.
I’ve noticed backlash against environmentalists because many people tend to see it as an “all or nothing” lifestyle. But what I think is most important to note is that it’s not a contest- anyone can make a difference in little ways. The same goes for weddings. With so many other things to worry about, why bankrupt yourself in order to afford pricey organic caterers? Instead see if you can compost the trash afterwards, or donate leftovers to a charity.
And instead of throwing around words like “hypocrite” we should be celebrating the efforts we see, no matter how small. Sustainability doesn’t apply exclusively to the environment - it applies to your sanity. And with just one week till my wedding, I’m learning just how valuable sustaining my sanity is!
I completely agree. This attitude really bothers me and I sometimes see non environmentalists using it as an excuse for living irresponsibly. Just because you can’t do everything doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do anything. All or nothing is a terrible attitude to have, and calling someone a hypocrite for not doing “everything” without having any other information about why and how they came to their decisions is counterproductive. We should be supportive of the efforts that others do make. That kind of attitude is extremely destructive because since it’s pretty much impossible to do “everything” they are dancing on the edge of encouraging people to give up altogether because people will be discouraged from even bothering if their good efforts will be ignored and any areas they fell short thrown in their face.
I ended up in exactly this situation - the vagaries of the English church system meant we ended up travelling from church to reception - and I felt really bad for a while, as if it had undermined everything else I was trying to do. But then I thought, no, I’m doing what I can, I’m not perfect… and it’s our wedding day - to celebrate not to feel like a guilty green! So if anti-environmentalists need to throw an ‘H’ word at me, let it be ‘human’ not ‘hypocrite’…
great point about the sanity!
great post, sharon! I second what you’re saying! I am all for green weddings AND like Katie said–we are all human!! I blogged about this on the mywedding.com site. John Mayer calls it the “light green” movement which means: let’s be eco-conscious, but let’s also have fun!